Archive for October, 2006

Kate Hudson’s Ex is Moving On

October 31, 2006

Kate Hudson’s soon-to-be ex-hubby, Strange Bearded Man (aka Chris Robinson), was spotted kissing a mystery brunette at LAX yesterday. I guess with all the news of Kate running around with Owen Wilson, Strange Bearded Man decided it was time he got a little nookie himself. Anyone know who this mystery woman is? Let us know!

Is Brandon Davis Still a Huge Tool?

October 31, 2006

Yes, yes he is.

Paris: What are you going to dress up as for Halloween, Brandon?

Brandon: Lohan’s vagina.
Paris: Oh my god that is soooo funny.
Brandon: Totally. I know. I’m going to wear a big orange wig. Like a firecrotch. Except on my head. Get it?
Paris: You are, like, the most creative and witty person I know.
Brandon: Yeah. That’s probably true.
Paris: Yeah.

It’s Topher’s Turn, Dammit!!!

October 31, 2006

First, Wilmer Valderamma got Lindsay Lohan (and, you know, everyone else with a vagina and something resembling a movie career). Then, Ashton Kutcher got Demi Moore. Finally, it’s Chris “Topher” Grace’s turn, as he is now rumored to be banging none other than Ivanka “Wharton Undergrad” Trump. Atta boy!

Ryan Did a Bad Bad Thing

October 31, 2006

Accoring to the “National Enquirer,” Ryan Phillippe was caught sending suggestive emails to his sexy co-star in “Stop Loss,” which he is filming in Morocco. Her picture is above and her name is Abbie Cornish, who is a sexy Austrialian blond actress. Evidently, Reese found these messages while she and Ryan were in New York for the “Flags of Their Fathers” premiere.

Reportedly, they have been having an affair that started the first day of filming. I hope this isn’t true, but Hollywood hotties don’t have the best track record.

Paris Admits She is a Tease…World Doesn’t Believe Her.

October 31, 2006

I don’t know why Paris has decided to publically come out and say she is not a slut over and over again. Maybe she just “cuddles” with all of the guys that she is reportedly “dating.” At least Lindsay Lohan comes out and says she likes to sleep around. I respect her for that. I just have to say, if you make a sex tape when you are 19 years old and you continously are surrounded by hot dudes while intoxicated YOU ARE GETTING LAID…A LOT. Come on Paris. Nobody is going to believe you. Embrace the ho within.

Good Morning! Happy Kevin Federline Album Release Day!

October 31, 2006

I hear it’s some other manner of holiday today, too, but, seriously, who cares if it’s freakin’ Christmas? The Kevin Federline album drops today! You can listen to Playing with Fire (the censored version) for free on AOL music now. You only have to stick around for two minutes to hear the very first usage of “California kush.” God, weed is so cool.

I’ll be honest: it’s not a terrible rap album. It’s not, guys. Sorry to disappoint. It’s pretty unremarkable aside from the fact that it’s Kevin Federline’s, but it’s not that bad. The album is largely centered on his bizarre rise to fame, and there are some great lines. On “America’s Most Hated,” he wonders, “Who told this bastard that he can’t rap / I’ve got fifty mil / I can do whatever I want.” And you know what? He’s right. (I’ll note that I’ve seen the last part of this line taken out of context in a variety of reviews, paired with a line that comes earlier, “All these model chicks wanna do me,” implying that he’s unfaithful to Britney. That’s not what he said, guys, and if you’re looking that hard for a reason to criticize, Federline won.)

Throughout the album, KFed is consistently straight-forward about who he is and why he’s famous, and I give him credit for that. It’s typically peppered with the obligatory references to driving fancy cars and drinking expensive liquor and smoking killer weed, but there are also plenty of references to Britney (who he always refers to only as “my wife”), and they’re all really sweet. He mentions more than once how much he’s in love with her, and I started to understand — just for a minute — how Brit fell for him.

Look, it’s not a stellar album, and if he weren’t married to Britney Spears, you’d never hear anything about it (primarily because it never would have been made). But the thing is, he knows that, and he’s honest about it on his album. He gets points from me for that. It’s totally mediocre, but it’s not so awful as we’d imagined. I mean, have you ever actually listened to the lyrics in anything Gwen Stefani wrote? Playing with Fire is Pulitzer Prize material in comparison. Also, there’s a hidden track. When was the last time an album had a hidden track? Dookie?

The hype surrounding the album hasn’t seemed to help ticket sales for Federline’s shows, as Page Six reports that his Cleveland show was canceled due to lack of interest, and his NYC show is likely to meet the same fate. But today — and just today — you’re okay in my book, Kevin.

What Happened to Aaron Carter?

October 31, 2006

Seriously people, what happened to Aaron Carter? He used to be a cute little tween star who dated Hilary Duff and now, after watching an episode of “House of Carters” I am shocked. He looks strung out and is covered in tattoos. It is sad because he really has had a messed up home life.

I know that poor Aaron has been through a lot. In 2003, his mother and sister spoke out during the Michael Jackson hysteria and admitted that he had spent a night in the superstar’s Neverland Ranch. They publicly wondered if anything had happened between the two. I bet that was a healthy thing for Aaron, you know, to deny he was MOLESTED by Michael Jackson because his mother brought it up in the media. Following this, he also severed ties with his mother when he claimed that she took $100,000 out of his bank account.

This site claims that during the height of his teen fame Aaron spent “$1,500 to $2,000 on drugs every month.” This claim was substantiated by the National Enquirer who came out with the above picture of Aaron reportedly smoking pot when he was 15.

Then he proposes to his 22-year-old former-Playboy-model fiancee Kari Anne Peniche in Vegas and quickly takes it back. I hope Nick Carter is helping his little bro because his E! True Hollywood Story is on its way.

Picking up the Pieces: Whitney is BACK, Bitches!

October 31, 2006

Whitney Houston makes her first public appearance, newly sober and split from Bobby Brown, looking great. Let the comeback begin! [Celebrity Smack]

Michael Jackson moonwalks back onto our national radar, announcing plans to marry his children’s nanny and make a rare public appearance at the World Music Awards in London. Everybody stay very quiet. Maybe he’ll just go away. [Hollyscoop and Hollywood Backwash]

X17 has footage of Lindsay Lohan less than an hour before she was spotted screaming and crying in her vehicle after all-night partying. She leaves Paris Hilton’s house with a pizza box covering her face, walks into her car (like, literally — she runs right into it, with the pizza box obstructing her vision), then drives off. When the paparazzi are asking if you’re okay to drive, maybe you should ask yourself the same question, Linds. [X17]

Live television is so much fun! Isn’t that right, SNL? [Defamer]

It’s cute when photogs decide they’re going to stop bloggers from using their photos. [HGW]

Wanna Carve a Virtual Pumpkin?

October 31, 2006

So it is Halloween and you don’t have a pumpkin but you still want the thrill of carving. Also, Halloween is on a Tuesday and you need a way to celebrate the holiday at work while dreaming of your childhood sitting around and gorging yourself with candy.

Since you are too old to trick or treat and being an adult is lame, carve yourself a virtual pumpkin.

Anna Nicole’s Son’s Body May Have to be Exhumed

October 30, 2006

In the comedy of errors that is the life of Anna Nicole Smith, we learn the model/reality TV star may have to exhume the body of her son Daniel from its burial place in the Bahamas. Anna may be deported from the Bahamas because she lied to the government to gain citizenship, so she’ll have to unbury the son it took her 39 days to bury to take him with her to the U.S. Once she gets here, she will, I’m sure, have to face Larry Birkhead’s paternity suit head-on. Since Anna’s been boinking her old lawyer and got ditched by her most recent one, she’ll have to find someone else willing to risk his reputation to defend her.