Tim Allen Gets Married


I’ll admit I have a strange fondness for Tim Allen. I feel I have to explain this.

Long, long ago, I started a fledgling, vaguely celebrity-focused blog, which I would call The Evil Beet. I wasn’t entirely clear on the scope or the voice, and I’d grabbed a pre-fab pink and purple template from Blogger (in retrospect, it was awful, and I apologize to those of you who were readers back then), and I sat for hours deciding what my first entry would be.

Earlier in the day, a friend of mine, a writer for Nickelodeon, was scripting a show that had Tim Allen lined up as a guest that week. He was frantically scouring the Internet for information on Allen, trying to come up with fun, kid-friendly questions.

Out of a sheer desire to be helpful (read: utter boredom), I offered to help. In my own research, I stumbled upon the inimitable Tim Allen blog, and, specifically, his thoughts on capitalism. I also came across the little-known fact that Allen had been arrested in the 70s for — what else? — being so damn funny it was a crime! Nah, I’m just kidding, it was drug trafficking. My friend reluctantly informed me that neither of these finds would be of much use to him in the process of scripting a kid’s show, but they formed the basis for the very first entry in the Evil Beet blog.

So, thanks, Tim Allen, and best of luck in your marriage.

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3 Responses to “Tim Allen Gets Married”

  1. Streisand_Disciple Says:

    With a ecclectic melange of recent movies including The Santa Clause 2, Christmas with the Kranks, and The Santa Clause 3: The Escape Clause, he’ll again be cashing in on seasonally inspiring white powder.

    Oh, and inasmuch as his blog notes he’s been reading “The Gnostic Gospels” and “Conversations with God,” he should get Old Testament on that new wife and make her costar in The Santa Clause 4: The Subordinate Clause.

  2. Streisand_Disciple Says:

    Okay, I’m now convinced I told those jokes the first time, so I’m also going to point out that his real last name’s “Dick.” That’s funny, right? Right?!?

  3. EvilBeet Says:

    Yeah, I made the impending irrelevance call on my Film.com write-up on this.

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