Ha Ha Matt, You Silly Goose

I’ve heard this rumor before but this is the first time someone has dared publish it online so now I’m officially concerned. The rumor is this: Matt Damon as Captain Kirk in a movie. Yikes. Matt, I pray it was just insider courtesy talk when you said:

“I heard that [rumor]. I think J.J. Abrams or somebody said that at press junket or something, and it got picked up… If the script was good, I’d do it.”

Now Matt is a fine actor, and I like the majority of films he’s been in. But you can’t go down the Captain Kirk path man. You’ll never make it back. Think of how many other movie roles Shatner has landed. Keep thinking. Okay stop, because there aren’t any. This Kirk think is bigger than us all Matt, it will eat you alive. Gone will be the cherry dramatic roles you so love, replaced with oddball camp crapola.

Come back to the light Matt. Don’t go to any galaxies that are far far away.

Fine, if you must appear in Star Trek than at least be Spock. Nimoy was hot as hell.

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