Jess Didn’t Have Herself a Very Merry Christmas

Jessica Simpson has not had the best 2006. It is being reported that on the set of her new movie “Blond Ambition” Jessica didn’t leave her trailer for 2 days, prompting an intervention by her sister Ashlee. It might be a bit redundant to say that she has been experiencing quite the fall from grace as of late. First, her album flops. Second, she experiences a bout of fug as her sister gets crazy hot. Third, her movies are lameo. Lastly, her love-life has become the running joke of the tabloids. While Nick is off with his hot Vanessa Jessica’s people keep trying to link her to various men with no success. John Mayer didn’t seem to interested in her once their relationship went public. (secret sex anyone??) Evidently she was dating the quarterback of the Dallas Cowboys for a hot second until he moved on to Carrie Underwood.
In 2007 hopefully we will get to look forward to the pending Jessica Simpson breakdown when Nick and Vanessa get engaged, the crap that will be “Blonde Ambition,” and many more bad hair extensions via her main gay, Ken Paves.
Thank You Jessica for going slowly batty, you give us the strength to move on from Lindsay Lohan.

Thanks to TMZ for this amazing article and a fantastic fat-face photo of Miss Simpson.

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One Response to “Jess Didn’t Have Herself a Very Merry Christmas”

  1. d mumsie Says:

    It’s not worth the mental anguish to try and speak normally to her and soul-sucking boring misery in embarassment to openly date her.. trust me.

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