Hi Rosie and Donald,
I just wanted to write to thank you for the feud you’ve been having this month. Each morning, I wake up, still a little groggy from the codeine and tequila, punch off my alarm clock, and go to brush my teeth. I stare at my reflection and wonder what there really is to be awake for. My hum-drum job? My boring friends? Dolphins? It seems a bleak existence.
Then, it hits me: maybe there’s a new development in the Rosie/Donald feud!
Did Rosie say something inflammatory on The View?? Did Donald pen a scathing rebuttal? Anything’s possible with you two!!
I run to my computer.
Rosie, without fail, you’ve said something ever so witty and perceptive about Donald on The View. And, Donald, you’ve always authored a brilliantly innovative note in response. Each day it is eye-opening. Each day it feels new.
I smile to myself. This is all fascinating.
I care so much.
So thank you, both of you, for bringing a daily dose of Rosie/Donald feuding happiness into my life. Please keep it coming. The American public is counting on you.