I Believe the Children Are Our Future


I hate both the MPAA and the FCC. Essentially I hate censorship in all its forms and I advocate a society where I’m allowed to choose what I’d like to guzzle.

That said, I am a little confused by this news: Justin Timberlake will be hosting the Kid’s Choice Awards. I know what you’re thinking, “Hey, what the hell are the Kid’s Choice Awards?” Fair point.

But I bet they involve children, unless it’s some kind of weird pedophile buffet thing. In which case I bet getting sponsorship/televised would be a bitch. So JT and the kids getting together because he’s a kid-like role model style guy. I now present you some selected lyrics to “Sexy Back.”

Dirty babe
You see these shackles
Baby I’m your slave
I’ll let you whip me if I misbehave

Oh crap, I appear to have misspoken. Later on in the song it says:

Go ahead child
Go ahead, be gone with it
And get your sexy on
Go ahead, be gone with it

Now I understand, the kids are meant to be sexy and also objects of sex. Dios Mios man. Was Guarini not available?

Take it to the bridge!

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