Archive for the ‘Ashton Kutcher’ Category

Demi and Ashton Getting Knocked Up?

January 2, 2007


It’s not out of the question says Demi.

“Once you hit three, where you’re outnumbered, it’s really, like, ‘What’s the difference between (three or) four or five?,”‘ she said.

Hmm, I guess there is no difference at all if you are super rich.

In some ways though I find this story heartening, at least until it comes out that Ashton cheated with Tara Reid or something, then I’ll be freshly jaded.

Also, that hat is stupid.

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The Rest of the Sexy Pants

November 16, 2006

Okay, after Sir George (and really, let’s just Knight him already) here is the rest of the list from People:

2. Patrick Dempsey
3. Ashton Kutcher
4. Taye Diggs
5. Johnny Depp
6. Josh Duhamel
7. Enrique Murciano
8. Leonardo DiCaprio
9. John Krasinski
10. Jake Gyllenhaal

Both good and horrible choices here. Also EvilT, EvilB, why no chiming in on this? Must I be the only grader of manflesh?

Anyway, Ashton Kutcher at #3 is preposterous. My cat exudes more sex appeal and I don’t even own a cat. I love Johnny Depp and his disaffected hair so I salute that one; I only wish us thick hair guys could compete with our giant bushels of Afro.

Leonardo DiCaprio? Really? Well, if you like your men waiflike and flaxen like back in the days of rampant tuberculosis I guess I could see that.

The #9 choice, John Krasinski, is actually really solid. When I saw the name I didn’t know who the hell it was but it turns out he’s the guy from The Office (but not Steve Carell). I think I would date him, and he’s about to become a giant movie star as evidenced by his smaller roles in two very “buzzy” films, For Your Consideration and Dreamgirls.

Enrique Murciano is the guy from Without a Trace. It seems to be a TV show of some kind. I wouldn’t know him if he physically assaulted me and left a card that said “I’m Enrique Murciano.”

Josh Duhamel is very close to not being worth even talking about. He was decent enough in the show Las Vegas but this is more a case of People Magazine star building than calling it like it is. Plus if you knew everyone on the list you wouldn’t bother purchasing it which would make Mr. People Magazine Jr. very sad.

My final complaint is Patrick Dempsey. I haven’t met a woman yet who doesn’t swoon for him but I can’t for the life of me see it. He disappeared for like a decade! Was he being sexy when he was passing out resumes? Let’s call his sexy quotient what it is, a flash in the pan cheap kind of sexy that makes all of us feel a little dirtier. Wait, I just read that back and maybe that’s what sexy truly is.

Crap. I hate you Patrick Dempsey. Call me.

Late-Night Link-o-Rama

October 17, 2006

Apparently Madonna isn’t adopting an African child so much as she’s kinda stealing one. Rule-bending in exchange for cash? In Malawi? [I’m Bringing Blogging Back]

Lindsay Lohan and Keira Knightley are going to hook up. On camera. I’m serious this time. [Pop on the Pop]

And the first interview with Michael Jackson since he left the U.S. in June 2005 goes to…Billy Bush? [Access Hollywood]

After her riveting turn making a whore of Christian Troy (like that’s hard) on Nip/Tuck, Rosie O’Donnell may get her own spin-off. [NY Post]

Today in cost-cutting: Moviefone conducts its Ashton Kutcher interview via IM. [Moviefone]

PR folks everywhere continue to realize that banning Paris Hilton from your event is a surefire way to score some publicity. I’m still totally okay with that, Esquire Show House in Los Angeles. [Hollyscoop]

ScoJo signs a deal to record her first album. The working title is Scarlett Sings Tom Waits, but they’re thinking of changing it to Hipster Masturbation 3000. [Junkiness]

Some Evil Clips for Your Evening

October 5, 2006

Josh Duhamel and Ashton Kutcher go all Zoolander in this 1997 footage of the two at the Male Model of the Year competition (yeah, it really happens). Duhamel wins, and interviews that “the guy — I forget his name — from Iowa, he was exceptional.” The guy he’s talking about is, of course, Ashton Kutcher (who introduces himself as “Chris Kutcher”).

Not one but two models ate shit on the runway at Paris Fashion Week. Luckily, CBS News consolidated the videos of the two into a single clip for you to laugh at. Not fierce, girls, not fierce at all.

Below is a clip of Rosie O’Donnell and Dr. Christian Troy having sex on Nip/Tuck. View at your own risk.

Monday Morning Holler Back

August 28, 2006