Archive for the ‘Boring Politics’ Category

Headline of The Day

February 22, 2007

I can’t believe that The Post is actually called “news.” I have to say I do buy it sometimes when I have a quarter in my pocket and I need something to flip through on the subway.

Their headlines harken back to a time when “newsies” would shout out “Extra extra read all about it!” They have no shame and they forgot that they weren’t US Weekly a long time ago. I love that they are creating a soap opera out of the Obama/Hillary feud.

Somehow I am obsessed with this…The war of words is heating up and it is a bit stupid. I think there are more important issues in the campaign other than which celebrity supports which hot Dem. If you vote based on who Jennifer Aniston gives her money to then you have a lot more issues you need to sort out on your own.

Daivd Geffen, see center pic above, has now jumped into the ring and slammed the Clintons. I don’t know why David Geffen’s political stance is important but his “dis” is quite amusing.

“Everybody in politics lies, but the Clintons “do it with such ease it’s troubling.” He went on to hint that Bill still had marital fidelity issues, and that Hillary was over-produced, over-scripted, over-ambitious, stiff-necked and haughty. And then he said the worst thing a Hollywood guy could say: The Clinton Show was boring. “And I’m tired of hearing James Carville on television,” he said.

Snap David Geffen! Boring? I mean, Obama would make a much better reality show. Ohhhh, a reality show about a political campaign. I have a pitch. David, call me.

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Late-Night Links

February 22, 2007

Tyra Banks and Photoshop collaborate to reproduce her barrier-breaking Sports Illustrated cover ten years ago. I think we all know which party worked harder. [POTP]

Marcia Cross pops out those twins. [dlisted]

Anna Nicole Smith: same great trial, now with more decomposition! [A Socialite’s Life]

The Desperate Housewives crew thinks they’re gonna drag this thing out for four more years. I’ll believe that when I see it. [ONTD]

Hollywood hands Barack Obama a clean $1.3 million. [FishbowlLA]

Yet another Perez Hilton lawsuit. But this one involves Jennifer Aniston’s boobies! [Bricks and Stones]

Dancing with the Stars announces its new cast. The D-list line-up includes *NSYNC’s Joey Fatone, which I find endlessly amusing, as he once hosted Fame, a wildly unsuccessful reality talent competition. Nowhere to go but up, now, buddy! [Celebrity Smack]

Hollywood Politics, Mean Girls Style

February 21, 2007

So Hillary Clinton and Barak Obama are now in a bitchfest to see who can have the coolest friends in Hollywood. When the Dreamworks guys, David Geffen, Steven Spielberg and Jeffrey Katzenberg, decided to have a huge fundraiser for Obama Hillary got quite upset and had her people make a nasty call.

Here is how I imagined the phone call went:

Hillary: OMG Steven I totally thought you were MY friend. I’m really upset, you totally can’t sit at the lunch table anymore!
Steven: Hil, so sorry but Barak is new, fresh and he totally has those new Prada slides that I’ve been eyeing. I mean, Barak is so hot right now.
Hillary: But I HATE him, I can’t belive you are going to his party…I am the one that throws all the cool parties, I’m the popular girl in Hollywood, everyone loves me.
Steven: Everyone loved you. Past tense, Barak’s party is supposed to be really cool…I mean Eddie Murphy is going to be there
Hillary: EDDIE Murphy, he NEVER comes to my parties!
Steven: Jennifer Aniston, Tom Hanks and Denzel Washington are coming too…
Hillary: OMG! Seriously, all I know is that I HATE HIM. He’s going down…nobody upsets the queen bee in Hollywood politics. NOBODY. My boyfriend Bill is so going to beat him up.
Steven: Bill’s going too…
Hilllary: (runs out the lunch room crying)

Saddam Hanging Caught on Tape

January 3, 2007

Someone snuck a cell phone camera into the Saddam Hussein hanging this weekend, and caught the whole thing on tape. Saddam drops at 1:40 on the tape.

Please note: this is video of an actual hanging. Viewer discretion strongly advised.

TOTAL HOTTIE John Edwards Running for President!

December 28, 2006

“I’m here to announce I’m a candidate for president of the United States,” he said this morning on The Today Show. “I’ve reached my own conclusion this is the best way to serve my country.”

The Democratic senator was John Kerry’s running mate during his unsuccessful bid for the presidency in 2004.

We’re still waiting to hear formally from Barack Obama and Hillary Clinton.

Stay tuned.

Sean Penn Thinks You’re a Cum Stain

December 20, 2006

Actor Sean Penn sent reporters scrambling for the least offensive way to convey the concept of “cum stain” during his acceptance speech for the 2006 Christopher Reeve First Amendment Award. Oh, and he also called for the impeachment of President Bush.

Said Penn: “Let’s put his administration under oath. And then if the crimes of treason, bribery or other high crimes and misdemeanors are proven, do as Article 2, Section 4 of the United States constitution provides, and remove the president, vice president, and … civil officers of the United States from office.”

He continued: “If we attempt to impeach for lying about a blow job, yet accept these almost certain abuses without challenge, we become a cum stain on the flag we wave.” [The entire speech is here.]

How’s that for effective use of imagery? My seventh-grade public speaking teacher would be so proud. Of course, these remarks are inflammatory and amusing and most definitely need to be written about in this pre-Christmas news slump, but how on earth do you print the word “cum stain” if you’re a major news agency catering in large part to red-state readers?

This is Fox News’s take on it: “If we attempt to impeach for lying about a [oral sex act], yet accept these almost certain abuses without challenge, we become a [human] stain on the flag we wave.”

Nice.

Pols Won’t Touch LiLo with a 10-Foot Pole

December 7, 2006

So after reading the drunk-ass email LiLo sent out last night, I was thinking, “Did anyone think to ask Al Gore for comment?”

YES!

TMZ DID!

I LOVE TMZ!

Genius, genius, genius!

They contacted his rep for comment.

“I can confirm for you that Mr. Gore has only met Ms. Lohan once, very briefly, at the GQ Men of the Year dinner last week. There were hundreds of other guests.”

And just because they rock that much, they contacted Barack Obama’s rep. Obama was not even mentioned in Lohan’s email, but he’ll be running against Hillary Clinton, who was. TMZ asked him if he had any advice as to whether Hillary should help Lindsay out.

“I don’t think we have any comment on that,” said an aide. TMZ continued to press the issue. “We’re going to take a pass,” insisted the aide.

Ha ha ha ha ha.

Soooo amazing.

Barack Obama and Ludacris: Together at Last

December 1, 2006

The world deserves a break from Britney Spears’ vagina, and what could possibly be more removed from that than a 2008 presidential candidate and a rapper?

Obama, now in the early stages of what will almost certainly be a bid for the 2008 Democratic ticket, met privately with rapper Ludacris on Wednesday in Chicago. Says Luda: “We talked about empowering the youth.”

CNN amusingly points out that both have won Grammy awards: Obama for spoken-word readings from his memoir, Dreams from My Father (and you will be hearing a lot more about his father as his candidacy progresses), and Ludacris for his verse on “Yeah!”.

Luda said meeting with Obama was like meeting with a relative. Obama declined to comment after the meeting.

I’d say this is evidence of Obama’s early efforts to score the Black vote, but, um, yeah.

Quote of the Day

November 10, 2006


From the hot boys over at The Pen15 Club:

“Having Nancy Pelosi as Speaker of the House is going to have the same impact on Congress that Heather Locklear’s addition did to Melrose Place.”

Everyone’s a Blogger!

November 10, 2006

Look, I’m not sure exactly what kind of voice CNN tells their political reporters to use for articles that will run on the front page, but I’m going to guess that “funny” and “at the President’s expense” are not traditionally part of the directive.
From the front page of CNN.com, right now:

Key Republican joins Dems in opposing Bolton

This is probably not what President Bush had in mind when he stressed bipartisanship after the Democratic Party’s midterm elections sweep.”

Okay, okay, back to the celeb gossip asap, I promise, guys. Hang in there…