Archive for the ‘Dane Cook’ Category

One Unfunny Human

November 13, 2006

This article from our friends at CNN poses a question: Is Dane Cook the Funniest Man in America? The answer is amazing in that it can be answered more quickly than a rattlesnake’s strike – Hell No. Thankfully the article itself, 80 words into it, quickly retreats from the giant silly headline and attempts a new query: Is he funny (at all)?

And then the coup de gras, the URL includes the following text: danecook.notfunny.

My only theory is that one of the bigshots at CNN heard from his 12 year-old niece that Mr. Cook is simply hilarious and passed the headline along to a real writer. This real writer, having the exclusive under 50 (but over 12) knowledge that Cook isn’t funny at all tried to tone down the piece so he didn’t get ridiculed by friends and family. Then he turned it over to a tech guy to put in the system and that guy knew FOR SURE that Cook wasn’t funny plus he was going to give the other tech guys a little nerd like shout-out (which is still in fact funnier than anything Dane Cook has ever done).

I guess what I’m saying is this; when do we get to see Employee of the Month 2?

Brangelina Treated Like Normal Human Beings by a Gym

October 6, 2006
  • I bet Dane Cook and Jessica Simpson have really deep pillow talk. “I know many consider Thus Spoke Zarathustra to be Nietzsche’s most important work, Jess, but I’ve personally always felt it to be Ecce Homo, with it’s ultimate emphasis on transvaluation.” “I concur, Dane. So very heartily.”
  • Sigourney Weaver injures her knee on a trampoline while filming a movie. “You have to learn what not to do with your knees,” says the actress, ostensibly to Lindsay Lohan.