Archive for the ‘Howard K. Stern’ Category

Anna Nicole Verdict…

February 22, 2007

Man this judge is a jackass. What a blow-hard.

A bunch of stuff was denied. I don’t understand the legalese.

Jesus, this judge looks like he’s trying not to cry. What a tool. What the fuck is going on here? Holy shit the judge is crying.

They awarded the remains to the lawyer representing Dannielynn. He asks that this lawyer consult with all involved parties in making a decision.

Howard Stern’s head is on the table. Virgie Arthur is crying.

“I want her buried,” says the judge, “with her son. In the Bahamas. I want them to be together.” But he’s leaving that decision up to Dannielynn’s lawyer, who I assume will agree to have her buried in the Bahamas.

Howard K. Stern is sobbing audibly. His freakin’ lawyer is crying. Everybody is crying. Except Larry Birkhead. He’s not crying.

“And I hope to God,” says the judge, “You guys give the kid the right shot.” He’s still crying. This is the strangest damn thing I have ever seen.

The lawyers ask for a bunch of stuff I don’t understand, then ask for use of the chambers for the rest of the afternoon. The judge says sure in the most long-winded, blow-hardy way. They want the courtroom sealed for their discussions. No cameras. Judge says sure.

Court adjourned.

Kimmy Weighs in on ANS

February 21, 2007

Remember that girl Kimmy from Anna’s E! show? She was very weird and completely in love with Anna. Well, she’s weighed in on the current goings-on, and it turns out she hates Howard K. Stern as well. On her website, she’s posted these rants (in a variety of fonts and format):

Howard, let me see if I can get this straight


Did anyone notice besides me when Howard left the stand he took his two white cups with him..hid them behind his copy of the WILL of Anna Nicole and sat back down at his attorneys table. When he left the room the cups were gone…in his or his attorneys briefcase I would guess.. What’s wrong HOWARD. *&*&^%*^^(^% didn’t want anyone get your DNA?

1. Researched laws from around the country and found one that would benefit YOU in any paternity case.

2. Convinced Anna Nicole to move to the Bahamas for the benefit of her child.

3. Daniel died within hours of arriving and you flushed WHAT down the toilet?

4. You loved Anna Nicole so much you turned your head when you signed the FedX for the METHADONE?

5. You loved Anna Nicole so much you had to rush out and buy a Yacht and to take her where? A watery grave?

6. Did you have enough time to empty the refrigerator of anything you wanted to hide from the corner?

7. My guess the reason you don’t want any DNA samples done on you or Dannielynn is they will find DRUGS in both systems.

8. Was Dannielynn born an addict?

9. Not for one minute do I believe Anna Nicole didn’t have another will made out. You know she was obsessive about taking care of her child. What did you do with the updated will? Or did it not benefit you?

10. How much of a percentage do you get from the Marshall case? Did Anna find out you were bilking her out of her hard earned money?

11. Do I ever want to see your snout again? NO I value my health to much and your track record is not good…..people are dieing around you…

12. Where is Daniels will? I know he had one made out.

13. OH Please, Howard! Hot Smoochie Lips, Inc….Tell the world you wanted to star in your own reality show.

14. Where are the gowns of Annas that you sent out to be dry cleaned and they never returned? Will we be seeing them on ebay?

15. You never slept in the same bed with Anna!! You crawled in there after she fell asleep…she never invited you to her bed!!!

16. Now you have E on your side they won’t show the real HOWARD!

17. The burial plots were bought by YOU…you sicko… that is the only way you could think of to finally get to sleep next to her each night?? After you are dead!!!! because it wasn’t happening while she was living.


Larry only wanted the best for Anna Nicole. He tried to do the right thing by her and his daughter.

I’ll add more questions as I think of them.. In the mean time sell some more of your false delusions. You never had Anna Nicole and you know she is looking down on you right now saying F&&% YOU Howard! I knew I couldn’t trust YOU!

I’m going to show up, when you least expect me! I have my own tapes… you had no right making a fool out of Anna like you did.


Damn, I really want to see these tapes.

Thankfully, she has a forum too.

A WhoIs search indicates the site was registered on Feb. 16 of this year, so I have to admit I have some questions about its legitimacy. Under address, “Kimmy” has written this:

Kimmy Walther
You will never know
Cleveland, OH 26555


The Anna Nicole Remains Trial: Day One

February 20, 2007

The Florida court proceedings to determine what will happen with Anna Nicole’s body began this morning. Before I begin with a recap, let me quickly explain to you (to the best of my understanding) what is going on here. There are two legal cases in progress regarding Anna Nicole. The first, in Los Angeles, California, is the paternity suit, where Larry Birkhead is pushing for DNA testing to determine who is the father of Anna’s baby daughter Dannielynn. Howard K. Stern opposes the testing. The second, in Ft. Lauderdale, Florida, exists to determine who gets custody of Anna Nicole’s body. Most of the media attention today focused on the Ft. Lauderdale case, where the parties concerned were present.

Howard K. Stern, Larry Birkhead, and Anna’s mother Virgie Arthur entered the courtroom around 9:30 a.m. Anna’s father, Don Hogan, was also present. The judge in the Ft. Lauderdale case is Larry Seidlin, a former NYC cabbie with a thick New York accent to prove it, who has reportedly hoped to have a Judge Judy-style television show of his own. He seems to have no problem whatsoever making a media circus of these proceedings. In fact, he appears to be encouraging it. He’s quite a character, this judge. He’s the anti-Ito.

Howard Stern wants Smith buried in the Bahamas, with her son, and his legal team argues that, as co-executor of Anna’s will, he should decide what happens to her remains. Anna’s mother’s team argues that Stern is not a blood relative and should not have a say in this issue. Anna’s will does not express her wishes on this matter.

Early in today’s proceedings, it was determined that Judge Seidlin would take jurisdiction of the paternity case which is currently pending in Los Angeles, and a lawyer was appointed to represent five-month-old Dannielynn in this case.

Stern’s lawyer, Krista Barth, kicked things off by complaining to the judge that Larry Birkhead’s lawyer, Deb Opri, accused him of “killing” Anna Nicole Smith during court proceedings this morning. Video here.

Howard Stern took the stand to discuss his relationship with Anna Nicole, noting that they were friends, and then lovers (“This was years ago,” he says. “We didn’t say anything at the time.”). Video here. He talks about how Anna never really recovered emotionally from the death of her son, and how she wanted to make sure that Daniel’s coffin was secure, because “both she and Daniel were afraid of bugs.” Video here.

In perhaps the strangest development so far, Stern’s testimony was interrupted by a phone call from the Broward County Medical Examiner, who stated that Anna Nicole’s body was deteriorating faster than normal. As such, DNA testing will have to be performed this week, instead of in two weeks as was planned. Stern sobbed audibly on the stand when he heard the news.

As the day wrapped up, the judge asked Howard K. Stern to appear in court again tomorrow. He was originally only supposed to appear today. The judge himself arranged for a private jet to take Stern on the short flight to the Bahamas tonight, and return him in the morning.

Anna Nicole News Real Quick

February 14, 2007

Let’s just get this out of the way, so we can get on with our day.

  • A Florida judge has ordered that Anna Nicole’s body not be released until DNA testing can be performed as per the request of Larry Birkhead.

  • A Bahamian judge yesterday agreed to an injunction preventing Howard K. Stern from removing Dannielynn from the Bahamas. This is at the request of Anna’s mother, Virgie Arthur, who claims she fears for the safety of the child with Stern.

  • Howard K. Stern’s sister Bonnie continues to wage whatever war she’s invented against her brother, claiming that Anna told her that Larry Birkhead is the father of Dannielynn.

  • Anna’s final film, Illegal Aliens, will be released in May. Smith’s late son Daniel was an associate producer on the film.

Your Daily Anna Nicole Dump

February 13, 2007

No news day would be complete without an update on the Anna Nicole saga. To summarize today’s findings:

The 911 call from the day of Anna’s death has been, um, either released or .. acquired. Listen to all the non-excitement of it here.

Anna Nicole’s former bodyguard, Alex Denk, has thrown his hat into the Dannielynn-paternity ring, bringing the number of potential daddies to five.

Anna Nicole’s mother has hired a lawyer to help in her quest to have Anna’s body released to her for burial.

Anna did have a will, written in 2001, naming Howard Stern as first executor.

And where there’s crazy, there’s the Barbi Twins, claiming they tried to get Anna to attend AA meetings with them several years ago, but she never called back.

Anna Nicole’s death consumed 50% of the cable newshole on February 8 and 9, much to the chagrin of CNN’s Jack Tafferty, who handled the situation with the sort of tact we normally reserve for vloggers and Shepard Smith.

Anna Nicole’s Fridge

February 12, 2007

I’ll go ahead and jump on this picture-posting bandwagon. I have no idea how TMZ acquired these photos, but they seem pretty confident they are actually from the refrigerator in Anna’s bedroom in her Bahamas home. Note the methadone.

Sigh. I’m so tired already tonight.

Oh and Howard K. Stern’s been found. Apparently he hopped a flight to the Bahamas with Entertainment Tonight‘s Mark Steines, who scored the exclusive interviews with HKS after Anna’s death. ET will start airing the footage Monday night, but you can get a sense of the mood from Mark’s blog:

Howard, in tears, at times unable to speak, shares with me that Dannielynn is the light helping him go on. As the plane lifts above the clouds, Howard thinks of those his precious Anna Nicole left behind. In a voice barely heard above the din of the jet engines he tells me, “I want her friends to pray that Anna Nicole is safe, happy and with Daniel.”

Of Course Prescription Drugs Were Found

February 9, 2007

I’m not even sure why that’s a story. But CNN was also nice enough to quantify them for us, “large amounts” were found. So you know, a couple hundred pounds of valium or so I’d guess.

They are also reporting that the Nurse of Anna Nicole found her not breathing but called the lawyer-dad Howard K. first and waited “a while” before calling 911. I would guess that’s because when she went to nursing school they told her helping that the patient came right after paying allegiance to the dark side.

Something tells me this will be getting worse and worse. That something is my brain.

Anna Nicole: Day One

February 9, 2007

I suppose it had to end like this. The soap opera of Anna Nicole Smith’s life came to a sudden finale on Thursday afternoon in a Hollywood, Florida hotel room. Smith had been in the Seminole Hard Rock Hotel & Casino since Monday, leaving five-month-old daughter Dannielynn behind in the Bahamas with a close friend. Anna’s unconscious body was discovered by her private nurse on Thursday afternoon. Her bodyguard and local paramedics attempted CPR, and she was rushed to the hospital, but she died before she arrived. Her body was covered by the time the ambulance arrived at the ER.

The autopsy is scheduled for tomorrow. One of Anna Nicole’s lawyers states that she had not “been well the past few days, she’s had cold and flu symptoms.” Which is, as I recall, what they said about her son in the days before his sudden death last September (Daniel Smith died of a drug overdose). I suppose we’ll have more details by tomorrow, and hopefully now this mystery will unfold over time. Anna had always idolized Marilyn Monroe, who died of a barbiturate overdose at the age of 36, and her death was ruled a probable suicide. Anna was 39.

It is this blogger’s opinion that we’ll learn Anna met the same fate as Marilyn (and, incidentally, as her son). Whether the death was accidental or a suicide may never be known, but my guess is she had some idea what she was getting herself into as she was taking the pills, and probably had more than one thought of Marilyn. Following Anna’s recent life, for me as a gossip blogger, has been exhausting, confusing, maddening, depressing and overwhelming, so I can only imagine what she went through actually living it. While her death means the exact opposite for members of the media, at least Anna Nicole will have some peace now. This is probably what she wanted — to die young, beautiful and shrouded in mystery, just like her idol.

As with the death of Marilyn, Anna’s death has already prompted a string of conspiracy theories (although Anna’s don’t yet involve a U.S. President). With Anna and her son Daniel dead, who stands to inherit the gazillions of dollars Anna’s been trying to get from her late husband? Her lawyer and boyfriend, Howard K. Stern, has spent the better part of his legal career fighting for that money. Anna’s mother told Nancy Grace on CNN in October: “If Howard Stern marries her and she ends up dead, then who does the money go [to]? Danny’s not there.” Well, I’m not a lawyer, but doesn’t she still have that daughter of dubious paternity and name-spelling, Dannielynn Hope Marshall Stern? Regardless, it hasn’t stopped folks from speculating that Howard K. Stern was maliciously involved somehow. Personally, I doubt this, but feel free to run with it (you know Law & Order will). While Stern is currently the legal guardian of the child, Larry Birkhead (who has been claiming since Dannielynn’s birth that he is the father), and every U.S. camera crew not yet dispatched to Florida, will be at an L.A. court tomorrow for an emergency hearing on the paternity testing. No word yet on whether Howard K. Stern will be present — no one’s can seem to pin down his exact whereabouts.

We’ll keep you posted on the details of this tragic story as they unfold.

That’s Anna Nicole’s Story and She’s Sticking to It

January 24, 2007

I was so excited for Tuesday. On January 23, Anna Nicole Smith was supposed to bring her new baby, Dannielynn (okay, if I can’t ever spell this name right on the first try, how does Anna Nicole even have a chance?), in for paternity testing, per a court order. Larry Birkhead, Smith’s former paramour, had asked for the test, contesting Anna’s claim that the girl’s father is Anna’s lawyer, super-stud Howard K. Stern. Birkhead claims the baby is his.

However, it turns out that Anna Nicole’s crack legal team has potency outside of the reproductive arena. They were able to convince an L.A. judge to stay the order, citing something about how the case was never tried in the Bahamas (pay no attention to anything about the legal aspects of this case I may mention — I have no idea what I’m talking about). So, alas, this is not the week we all get to hear Anna Nicole’s explanation of how exactly she could be so completely wrong about who fathered her child.

But never fear! We will not be completely without Anna’s unique brand of articulate. TMZ obtained a private AOL Instant Messenger convo between Anna and Larry Birkhead. This is possible because TMZ employs some of the most talented Internet hackers on the planet — namely, Larry Birkhead (handle: N0 tr0jAn). Here’s the text of the convo, which led me to actually pray that this child’s father is Howard K. Stern, because at least he had a strong enough grasp on verb conjugation to get through law school.

Anna Nicole: quit trash me at the casino
Larry: not at a casino
Anna Nicole: go fuck my mom to
Anna Nicole: Yall are sick
Larry: show up for the test with the baby\
Anna Nicole: don’t think so
Anna Nicole: u wish
Larry: everybody just want u to do right thing is all
Anna Nicole: in your dreams

Here at The Beet, we just wishes for there be resolushun in this matter before Danilyn be’s old enuf to understand what go on around her.

OMFG Law and Order Aired an Episode About the Death of Anna Nicole’s Son Before the Bahamas Authorities Have Decided Whether to Have an Inquest

January 11, 2007

This is pretty unbelievable.

Did anyone catch L&O last week? (I think it was last week.) The episode was all about a gold-digging woman whose recovering drug-addict son dies in her hospital room. Her “publicist” was with her at the time.

It veers off from there, as L&O is wont to do, and it turns out the kid had, like, a bone graft from some dead chick who’d had ovarian cancer because some doctor hadn’t properly screened the material and was obtaining it illegally. Whatevs. It is sad that this information is currently taking up space in my brain.

Point is: Dick Wolf & Co. wrote, filmed, edited, distributed and aired that entire episode before the good folks in the Bahamas have decided whether to have a formal inquest into the death of Anna Nicole’s son.

They say they’ll make a decision “soon,” and that this process has not taken “unusually long.”