Archive for the ‘Janet Jackson’ Category

The CBS Strikes Back

November 21, 2006


Remember the Janet Jackson nonsense? Well CBS does to and they are suing the FCC over the 550k they were fined. I think someone at CBS realized the only show they have left that people watch is C.S.I. so they decided they’d just start lashing out at monolithic organizations. Next up, the Boy Scouts! Actually, they kid of deserve it. Anyway.

I will say in this point they’ve got the high ground, the FCC is a demon from hell sent to haunt our dreams. Here’s a bit of the reasoning behind the decision:

“(The incident) was unintended, took place without the knowledge of the network, and should not be considered indecent.”

Furthermore CBS wants you to know the JJ breastacle was:

“unscripted, unauthorized and unintended long-distance shot of Ms. Jackson’s breast for nine-sixteenths of one second.”

9/16ths! Go get em CBS! And wouldn’t you have loved to be the intern with the stopwatch getting that number exactly right?

Take us home CBS, the official network of old people:

“The network stated that the “blink and you miss it” nature of the episode went “largely unrecognized for most of the broadcast audience.”

Whoa there. Now you’ve lost me. It may have gone unrecognized for the 9/16ths of a second it took everyone in the world to overreact, but even I caught that Ms. Jackson had given us a little more for our entertainment dollar. Man, CBS, why didn’t you just say “You can catch the same nipple action on EvilBeetGossip.com”? Or anywhere on the massive entity I call the internet. Or on Showtime. Or on the Oscars when someone wears a J-Lo dress. Or perhaps you should have used the ultimate in network comebacks with “Hey, our freaking logo looks like a nipple you jerks.”