Archive for the ‘Kevin Federline’ Category

BritneyGate Never Sleeps

February 22, 2007

On tomorrow’s docket? Brit Spears losing the kids? Maybe.

From our friends at the tiny news gathering called The Associated Press:

“(AP) — As Britney Spears was reportedly checking out of a drug rehabilitation center for the second time in a week, her estranged husband was making plans to go to court amid a custody dispute over their two children.

Kevin Federline and his lawyer were scheduled to appear at a downtown courthouse Thursday for an emergency hearing, Superior Court spokesman Allan Parachini told The Associated Press.

“Our best information is he will be here; she won’t,” said Parachini. “But anything is possible.”

Yes, anything is possible. Brit could parachute in from an Army helicopter. She could show up selling her extra needles. The kids may have already been sold to Madonna.

There is no limit to the crazy train, just hop on board and pray the dining car opens soon.

Brit’s Late-Night Vomit-rama

February 12, 2007

Not that this is even news anymore, but Britney was parting at NYC’s Tenjune late Saturday night — maybe partying a little too much. Britster exited the club and was rushed into an SUV with a blonde female friend. When she arrived at the hotel, she and the friend left, and the paps quickly noticed something was amiss within the car. They zoom in and get a close-up of the backseat of the SUV, covered in vomit. That’s hot. Video here.

Brit’s former love, Justin Timberlake, had a similar night on Friday. After performing at Avalon on Friday night (and giving K-Fed a hug on the red carpet — is there a Federlake in the works?), JT was scheduled to perform at Clive Davis’ legendary pre-Grammy bash on Saturday, but had to cancel, citing a 103 degree fever. The folks who were out partying with Justin until five o’clock Saturday morning said he seemed perfectly healthy — albeit drunk — to them. Hm. Fox News said the newly single pop star actually showed up for sound check, but just couldn’t pull it together to perform.

Maybe next time Justin should think twice before sounding off about what an irresponsible trainwreck Britney is.

Adventures in Brand Management: An Open Invitation to Kevin Federline

February 1, 2007

While much of the fast-food industry has criticized K-Fed for his upcoming Super Bowl commercial, Taco Bell has taken a different — and much smarter — tack.

Dear Mr. Federline,

First off, congratulations on your upcoming Super Bowl ad. We heard it’s generating a lot of talk, particularly about working in the fast food industry.

We know you respect those who work in our business. In fact, last year you said in an interview, “My kids are going to have to learn what a real job is, what life is. You don’t have it easy with me. Period. My kids are going to work at Taco Bell.”

We’re flattered, but obviously they’re too young to work for us. So here’s our offer to you: Come work for us, just for a one hour shift. We’ll get you a uniform, a custom name tag and show you what a great place Taco Bell is to work. We’ll even reward customers who visit that restaurant with an order of our new Carne Asada Steak Grilled Taquitos for free.

We encourage you to continue to “Think Outside the Bun” and hope you accept our tasty offer.

Greg Creed
Taco Bell Corp.

Update: Too funny. Yum! Brands stock (they own Taco Bell) is up a point to a 5-day high this afternoon.

Kevin Federline: Good Guy or Brilliant Negotiator?

January 31, 2007

Britney Spears offered Kevin Federline a cool $25 mil to get out of her — and her children’s — lives for good, and he’s turned it down. Depending on whom you believe, this is either because he’s holding out for $50M or because he actually refuses to make a graceful exit from the lives of their children. Says one source: “He loves his two little boys, and there’s no way he’s going to disappear from their lives.” Both parties are asking for sole custody of the kids.

Federline has proven that he can make his own income. He recently filmed a Super Bowl commercial for Nationwide Insurance and has reportedly fielded offers to do a number of reality TV shows. Of course this is not a particularly sustainable business model, but he certainly has at least another year or two of pseudo-stardom. If he invests well, he can probably swear off back-up dancing for the rest of his life, with or without Britney’s money. And who the hell knows? Maybe, in this process, he’ll rehabilitate his image to the point where he can build some manner of non-laughable career as an entertainment figure. I mean, if Screech is still famous, there’s no limit to Kevin Federline’s potential.

The Kevin Federline Super Bowl Commercial

January 29, 2007

Good move, Nationwide Insurance.

Late-Night Links

January 26, 2007

Nicole Kidman is carted off to the hospital after an on-set car accident, but she’s so badass she comes back later in the night to resume filming. Thankfully, someone got the accident on tape. [Celebslam]

Jessica’s pouty expressions and hair-twirling may be more for the camera than for John Mayer. [Cele|bitchy]

Kate and Owen take another shot at their non-relationship. You know, for the sake of the little Ryder. Oh wait. [Celeb Warship]

Pics of Carrie Underwood shooting her new music video. [Celebrity Smack]

Wrap your head around this: Paul Reubens, incapable of draw the line at masturbating in a public place, also smoked cigarettes on set. [Defamer]

Black Snake Moan is characterized as “bad Ricci-porn.” Count me in! [Pajiba]

Even fast food employees are loathe to be associated with Kevin Federline. [Agent Bedhead]

Late-Night Links

January 25, 2007

Those folks who took over Paris Hilton’s storage locker when she forgot to pay the monthly fee on it have finally released the info they found within. Among it: pictures of Paris smoking a tampon. [Gawker]

Rose McGowan’s looking a little ragged these days. [popbytes]

Jen Aniston’s rep is just plain tired of lying. He admits his client had a nose job this weekend. [The Superficial]

Singer Brandy was the cause of a disturbing Los Angeles wreck. No, not Moesha. [Bossip]

Look, I tried, but I can’t beat Seth and Mark on this, so I’m just going to steal their headline: ABC Sends Isaiah Washington to Gayhab. [Defamer]

Clearly the most effective way to get your estranged wife to seek help for her drinking problem is to whine about it to Star magazine. Right, K-Fed? [IBBB]

Hugh Hefner takes time out of his busy day to call Kelly Osbourne ugly. [Agent Bedhead]

Late-Night Links

January 12, 2007

Howard Stern gets David Arquette to dish on the Brad/Jen split. [INO]

Kate Moss may be a hopeless cocaine addict, but she’s an addict who can sell some clothes. Burberry knows this. [Celeb Warship]

Trust me, if the Kim Kardashian sex tape exists, no one wants it to hit the Internet more than Kim Kardashian. [Bossip]

Father of the Year Kevin Federline announces that the forfeit of his relationship with Sean and Jayden is worth $25M per kid. [The Blemish]

A pregnant Tori Spelling and Dean McDermott hit the press junkets. [Teddy and Moo]

Justin Timberlake takes his face out of Scarlett’s breasts for long enough to issue a formal break-up statement with Cameron Diaz. [Faded Youth]

Spicy Pants from Celebrity Smack is going to be on the radio! Be sure to tune in and listen. [Celebrity Smack]

MK from popbytes has 30 Seconds to Blog for an AOL webcast and he does a fantastic job. [popbytes]

It Turns Out Britney Remembers She Has Children

January 5, 2007

Or at least her lawyers did.

Britney and K-Fed agreed to a temporary custody arrangement for the month of January. While it’s been said (by celebrity gossip bloggers, who, like myself, all have J.D.s and a minimum of five years experience practicing divorce law) that Britney’s wild ways, when contrasted with Federline’s recent campaign for Father of the Year, would result in a custody settlement that favors the Fed-Ex, that doesn’t seem to be the case so far.

Federline got his ass whooped in the arrangement. Well, I mean, he got his ass whooped if you start with the assumption that he wasn’t actually hoping for a court-mandated excuse to rarely have to bother being around his children. According to the agreement, Federline can spend the hours of noon to four on Monday, Wednesday and Friday with his children, at Spears’ home. Spears is allowed to be present. Spears is also allowed to take the children to Miami for a week, starting today.

Britney, who recently admitted to being “far from perfect” in a letter to fans on her website, and Kevin have yet to determine a final custody agreement.

Late-Night Links

January 5, 2007

Paris Hilton actually managed to get fired from her namesake Club Paris. Is there anything this girl can’t do? [The Blemish]

Pics from the Alpha Dog premiere’s after-party, with nary a Cameron Diaz in sight. [Monica Monroe]

K-Fed gets text-dissed by La Lohan. [The Superficial]

Britney Spears is back on the party scene, looking worse than I have ever, ever seen her look. The first pic is vaguely reminiscent of Rosie O’Donnell. [X17]

The “sole remaining” copy of the video of Steve Irwin’s death has been handed over to his widow. [Tabloid Whore]

Nicole Richie hires a shaman to rid her home of whatever “curse” triggered her string of bad luck in 2006. This shaman will, I assume, walk in, flush thirty-six baggies of coke down the toilet, and leave. [Junkiness]

Kate Hudson and Owen Wilson’s publicity train makes a stop in Splitsville. [The Bosh]

Singer/model Tyrese allegedly punched his pregnant girlfriend in the stomach. [Gabsmash]