Archive for the ‘Kevin Federline’ Category

K-Fed Now Wrestling

December 21, 2006

I’ve been trying to think of a joke for this, K-Fed stepping into the wrestling ring, but right now I’ve got nothing.

Screw it, let’s just let K-Fed handle it for us:

Make all your jokes, because New Year’s Day I’m the one who is going to be laughing. Oh yeah, Cena, my name is not K-Fed, it’s Kevin Federline, b***h, and I want some and I’m gonna get some.”

I just hope he doesn’t get this Cena person pregnant.

Two Can Play at This Game

December 20, 2006

While most of the world took it for granted that K-Fed was cheating on Britney during their marriage, new rumors suggest that Brit-Brit may have been getting some on the side, too. Her alleged paramour is J.R. Rotem, who Britney definitely hooked up with after filing for divorce. Other sources say J.R. had a previous fling with none other than Paris Hilton, Britney’s BFF of five minutes earlier this month, and that when Britney found out she put an end to their BFF-ship. However, Miss Hilton recently gifted Britney a $500 doggie carrying case, so these rumors may be unfounded.

In Touch Weekly reports that Britney actually called K-Fed to ask him if he’d seen the pictures of her making out with Rotem, and to brag about all the sex she was having. Kevin was furious and started screaming at her.

And, making yet another stop on her self-styled image rehabilitation tour, Britney stopped at a tattoo parlor in L.A. with her little sister to get a hand tattoo.

For real, though, she is totally fine. She has never been happier. This is all so. Much. Fun. Ain’t that right, Britney?

Brit’s New Man

December 12, 2006

And we begin, per usual, with the time-tested opener for Britney-related pieces: Oops! She did it again! Britney Spears is hooking up with the help. The ‘razzi snapped pictures of her sucking face (while sucking a cigarette) with music producer Jonathan “J.R.” Rotem. Rotem is working with Spears on her new album, and also worked with … wait for it … Kevin Federline, on Playing with Fire. Federline had Rotem as one of his top MySpace friends until Monday, when he was removed from the list.

This seems to be a pattern for Britney. When she and Justin Timberlake split, one billion years ago, it was widely assumed (although never confirmed by either party), that it was because she cheated on him with Wade Robson, who choreographed both her tour and *NSYNC’s. So maybe Brit just has a thing for men who work for both her and her previous dudes. Because, um, I’ve seen pics of this Rotem kid, and I can’t imagine she has a thing for his face. But whatevs.

Anyway, Rotem wasted no time in hitting up Hyde, now that he’s famous and all. TMZ has video. Rock on, Britney.

Late-Night Links

December 12, 2006

Jennifer Aniston leaves an L.A. club through the back door with none other than Kevin Federline. Oh, how the mighty have fallen! [Celebitchy]

Sharon Stone outrages and offends the population of Norway. “Now you know how we feel,” says the population of America. [Perez Hilton]

Pam Anderson got naked in front of a camera, because that’s how she spends her time when she’s not getting married impulsively. [Agent Bedhead]

Since her 2003 arrest for heroin possession, Nicole Richie has apparently lost an inch of height and five pounds. Also, she’s black now. [Mollygood]

Queen Latifah and her girlfriend, trainer Jeanette Jenkins, are reportedly jogging towards splitsville. But, hey, at least she’s jogging. [Bossip]

Paris and Nicky Hilton having an ass-slappin’ good time in the back of a limo. [Egotastic]

Late-Night Links

December 6, 2006

The long-awaited video (seriously, it took a whole day — that’s like a lifetime in the blogosphere) of Jessica Simpson running off-stage at the Kennedy Center Awards has at last arrived. [MollyGood]

Reverend Jesse Jackson is urging the public to boycott Seinfeld DVDs after star Michael Richards’ much-publicized racist rant reportedly prompted a spike in DVD sales for the show. My guess is the thought process surrounding most of these purchases went more along the lines of “Oh, hey, I forgot about Kramer. Man, Seinfeld sure was funny. Those DVDs would make a great Christmas gift,” and less along the lines of “You mean that Kramer guy’s a racist? Oh, now I’ll buy the DVDs.” A Jason Alexander crotch shot probably would have had a similar impact. But whatever. [CelebSlam]

Beyonce Knowles and Jennifer Hudson are supposedly having some manner of non-feud regarding who upstaged whom in Dreamgirls. I’m not sure if I believe it less than I care, or vice versa. [TMZ]

Porn star Kendra Jade knows words like “disheartened,” “inevitable,” and “salacious.” That or her publicist does. Either way, she didn’t sleep with K-Fed. She has standards. [JordanIsYourHomeboy]

Sandra Bullock is either pregnant or she isn’t. [Celebrity Smack]

Picking up the Pieces

November 30, 2006

Things that happened today without any involvement on the part of Britney Spears’ vagina:

American Idol fourth-placer Chris Daughtrey’s album debuts at #2 on the U.S. charts. [Perez Hilton]

Check out Beyonce’s new video for “Listen,” from the Dreamgirls soundtrack. [popbytes]

Kevin Federline has a thing for women who like the whole world to see their naughty bits. Isn’t that right, Kendra Jade? [Pop on the Pop]

Josh Hartnett’s mystery girl revealed: she’s Amber Sainsbury, who did some show called Hex for 11 episodes in 2004 and is currently co-starring with Hartnett in 30 Days of Night. Also: she’s not as pretty as Josh, which is how I reckon he prefers it. [BWE]

Nick Lachey bought a minor-league baseball team this week. What did you do? [ICYDK]

Matt Lauer named his newborn son Thijs. Pronounced “Tice.” I am supposed to say something mean here (preferably referencing the unfortunately named Paltrow offspring) but I have a fabulous friend at school named Tejs (pronounced similarly), so out of respect for the fact that he did my finance homework all quarter, I just have this to say: Way to name a kid, Lauer! [Cele|Bitchy]

K-Fed Has a New Lady Already?

November 27, 2006

As disturbing as this sounds, according to Dlisted, K-Fed has found himself a new lady and they spent the Thanksgiving Holiday at Miss Shar Jackson’s house. You know, Shar, Kevin’s other baby mama? The girl is not cute, but has that white trash big boobed thing goin on. I guess Kevin is into the porn star look, via an article almost a year ago, Kevin was rumored to have hooked up with porn star Kendra Jade. Here is another story of Kevin’s rumored infidelity.

We wonder if she is one of the many reasons for the Brit/K-Fed split? Hopefully one of them will turn up on TV soon enough to tell their side of the story. Maybe K-Fed can go the Nick Lachey route and write some soulful ballads about how his heart was broken by his way-more successful wife?

I just hope Britney Spears stops hanging out with Paris soon. Otherwise Kevin is going to look like a model father and that is just tragic.

K-Fed Offered a Job!

November 24, 2006

Perhaps Mr. Britney Spears won’t have to resort to selling sex tapes after all. While his soon-to-be ex-wife traverses the country on Paris Hilton’s coattails, Kevin Federline has reportedly been offered nearly $300,000 to appear on the U.K.’s Celebrity Big Brother.

According to an insider, “Kevin is hugely entertaining because he takes himself really seriously – even though no one else does. He’ll be great for the show because it’s all about larger-than-life characters.” Although Federline’s “real” fans should not be counted out — X17 snuck cameras into his recent House of Blues show, and caught Kevin leading an (unironically) cheering crowd in a chorus of — if I’m hearing this right — “Fuck K-Fed.” I’m not sure I completely understand the context, but about halfway through the film someone holds a Long Island iced tea up in the air, and that’s really all the explanation I need.

Jimmy Kimmel’s K-Fed Haterade

November 22, 2006

Check out Kimmel’s mucho funny Federline-drowning monologue at last night’s AMAs.

Late-Night Links

November 22, 2006

Britney Spears and K-Fed briefly reunite to jointly issue one last depressing statement: they did not make a sex tape. [Agent Bedhead]

Somehow — somehow — Wesley Snipes has managed to compare his tax evasion indictment to rape and accuse the federal government of racism in a single well-advised statement sent via email to a columnist for the Orlando Sentinel. [E! Online]

I still haven’t figured out who this Katie “Jordan” Price person is, but she’s selling her implants on eBay. [Hollyscoop]

Will Smith homeschools his kids, because he knows everything. [Junkiness]

Kristin Cavallari has found someone even less famous than Brody Jenner to date, her Revenge of the Nerds “co-star,” Nick Zano. [Superficial Girls]