Archive for the ‘Lindsay Lohan’ Category

Brody Jenner & Spencer Pratt Are Exactly the Tools You Thought They Were

February 20, 2007

Man, this interview should be required reading for the whole world. Especially Lauren Conrad.

Details magazine sits down with the male “stars” of this season of The Hills, Brody Jenner and Spencer Pratt, to discuss their bizarre rise to fame.

Some sample dialogue:

Pratt: “Do you trust me?”
Jenner: “Of course I trust you.”
Pratt: “All right, then here’s what you’re gonna do. You’re gonna start dating Nicole Richie. And you’re gonna get that skinny bitch to eat, all right? You are about to become The Guy Who Got Nicole Richie to Eat. Process that shit, bro. You’ll be, like, a fucking hero to America.”

It really just gets worse from there. “Basically, I made it, like, my mission to try to go on a date with every girl on The Hills,” says Spencer, who later spends twenty minutes talking about how he’s planning to make a tape of himself banging Heidi Montag, and release it on the Internet.

Also in there: apparently Lindsay Lohan is all up on Brody’s cock. She texts him constantly and reportedly said that “she could cuddle with him forever.”

And then they get all bitchy with Kevin Connolly. “That guy is a joke,” says Spencer. “We were Entourage before Entourage. .. Why would anyone act when they can just play themselves?” (Notes the author: “Well, there’s this: While Jenner & Co. will spend $1,000 on drinks over the course of the next two hours, Connolly is drinking for free.”)

In no big surprise, most of the total jackass comments made in this interview come out of Spencer’s mouth, not Brody’s. I used to think Brody Jenner was totally disgusting. Now he seems like a pretty decent guy when compared to Spencer Pratt. And at least Brody is genuinely hot. Spencer, as other bloggers have pointed out, is disturbingly Steve Sandersesque.

Oh well. Here’s the point: watch The Hills.

Rehab #2 Featuring Lindsay Lohan

February 17, 2007

Lindsay Lohan has checked out of the Wonderland treatment center she has called home for the past month. She is still going to be participating in outpatient therapy but now she is free to whore herself around at various Hollywood hotspots.

She is also now free to devote her full time to her movie “I Know Who Killed Me.” I guess its something about a girl with a dual personality. Didn’t she already play that part in “Freaky Friday?” Honestly my favorite Lindsay Lohan movie is “Mean Girls.”

I’m glad she did her 30 days inside rehab, even though if it was a bit rocky due to her need to be seen by the paparazzi shopping, goes out to clubs, ect…

Lets hope that she stays clean and sober!

Late-Night Links

February 13, 2007

Justin Timberlake announces plans to launch his own television network, JT TV. I announce plans to throw up a little in my mouth. [POTP]

Remember Lindsay Lohan? [The Blemish]

Mischa Barton does her very best Crocodile Dundee. [Celebslam]

Anna Nicole was cheating … on TRIMSPA! Leave it to CourtTV to get the hard facts in this case. [TMZ]

T.R. Knight is not getting pushed around by anyone anymore! You hear that, Diddy? [Cele|bitchy]

Jessica Simpson and John Mayer pose for some prom post-Grammy photos. [Tabloid Whore]

Paris Hilton won’t have her true commitment to the ground-breaking creation of novel soundscapes diluted by an extended appearance at such self-congratulatory nonsense as the Grammy awards. But you can take her picture real quick. [Defamer]

See? Sarah Silverman is funny. I told you so. [Gawker]

It’s Alcoholics ANONYMOUS, Jackass

February 6, 2007

Poor Lindsay. The paparazzi follow her to the grocery store, to the Coffee Bean, to Teddy’s and Area, and now they’re following her to her AA meetings with video cameras. This is so unfair on so many levels, guys. You can even hear Lindsay saying in the background, “This is so embarrassing.” It’s not just a horrible invasion of Lindsay’s privacy (and I’m torn on where I stand on this — I mean, she’s been working 24/7 to garner publicity for years now), but it’s also an attack on anyone who’s trying to get sober anonymously at the meetings she’s attending. These people were in no way responsible for Herbie: Fully Loaded. They don’t deserve this! I’m certainly not one to stand up for the privacy of public figures, but this is crossing the line. Back off, guys!

Let’s Talk About Lindsay Lohan

February 5, 2007

I’m trying to figure out what her M.O. is.

Lindsers was partying at Les Deux with Paris Hilton on Friday and was spotted at Area on Saturday night. No one caught her drinking alcohol (she’s always got a water bottle or a can of Rockstar — which may or may not be filled with, say, water or Rockstar), but still. Is she trying to stay sober or what?

It’s not that you can’t stay sober and be at bars, Linds, and I’m glad you’re still going to meetings, but maybe take it easy for the first couple of months? And keep your distance from Paris? Yes?

Is she trying to send a message? That she can quit drinking and still be out on the scene? Is she just that addicted to the publicity? Is there a 12-step program for that? Man, there really should be. Or is she, you know, just that addicted to getting high and drunk at L.A. hot spots?

We’re rooting for you, Lindsay! Get your life together!

Other Stuff You Should Know About

February 3, 2007

Hilary Duff’s new single is pretty addicting. Kind of like Vicodin. When you’re Nicole Richie. [popbytes]

Alanis Morissette and Ryan Reynolds must have received the letters I’ve been writing them, begging that the natural order of the universe be restored, and that Ryan Reynolds genes of total hotness not be mixed with Alanis’s weird pear-shaped ones. They’ve split up. [Hollywood Grind]

I hate covering stories that involve Katie Holmes talking. [Defamer]

Fuckin’ Lindsay Lohan. [The Blemish, The Superficial]

Fuckin’ Lindsay Lohan’s mom. [Hollyscoop]

Yes, we have pictures of Denise Richards’ labia. This is very good news for Heather Locklear in the maintenance and improvement of the voo-doo doll. [The Superficial]

Really Late-Night Links

February 1, 2007

If you’re wondering where Lindsay Lohan acquired her penchant for rambling, nonsensical epistolaries, look no further than her father’s most recent jailhouse opus. [Pop on the Pop]

Aw, Danny Tanner can still make his little girls smile. [Agent Bedhead]

Turns out Courtney Love can stay sober and plant absurd rumors about how she’s being considered as a judge for American Idol and categorically deny them, all at the same time! Yet, basic spelling continues to elude her. [Defamer]

Tara Conner’s no stranger to any type of blow. [ICYDK]

I hadn’t heard of Lily Allen until sometime last week, but this girl’s getting really famous really fast. [popbytes]

The gossip and sports blogospheres collide with the sound of Gisele Bundchen getting pummeled by Tom Brady. [The Big Lead]

Memo to Tyra Banks: We are done talking about the weight you’ve put on in the past couple of years. We did it for a day or two, got it out of our systems, and we’re ready to move on. We’d really appreciate it if you’d allow us to do that. Step away from the fat pictures, Tyra. Please. Love, The Blogosphere. [The Blemish]

Bill Gates can’t get away from Jon Stewart fast enough. [Cele|bitchy]

Late-Night Links

January 31, 2007

If you had to be in rehab with Lindsay Lohan, you’d drink, too. [A Socialite’s Life]

Not only is Britney Spears still dating Jewish actor/model Isaac Cohen, she’s sporting a star of David. Also, I challenge all readers to beat X17’s headline for this one. I don’t feel it’s possible. [X17]

Sienna Miller left her pants at the Factory Girl premiere. [ICYDK]

You always knew Paris Hilton was a racist bitch, but thankfully we now have it all on tape. [WWTDD]

Pete Doherty takes his eight millionth shot at getting sober. If this guy were a stock, I’d short it. [Cele|bitchy]

Brandy is slapped with a $50 million suit by the parents of the woman she killed in a traffic accident late last year. [Bossip]

Jennifer Lopez isn’t a Scientologist, she just throws them her support when they’re boosting her career. [Celebslam]

Lindsay Lohan’s Appendix Still Hasn’t Worked the 12 Steps

January 18, 2007

Ladies and gentleman:

The moment you’ve all been waiting for has arrived.

LINDSAY LOHAN HAS CHECKED INTO REHAB.

After her latest hospitalization for an “appendectomy” failed to result in the surgical removal of her drinking problem, the starlet finally decided to check herself out of Hyde and into a facility. Lindsay has spoken of attendance at AA meetings, and has been spotted lately drinking only from a water bottle at clubs, but multiple sources confirm that those water bottles are regularly filled with vodka.

Says Lohan through her rep, “I have made a proactive decision to take care of my personal health. I appreciate your well wishes and ask that you please respect my privacy at this time.”

For what it’s worth, Lindsay, good luck.

Lindsay and Joey, Sittin’ in a Pile of Cocaine and Rape Allegations

January 16, 2007

Oh, yay. Lindsay Lohan’s getting her pork on with certified rapist extraordinaire Joe Francis, who, when not forcing himself on underage girls or physically abusing female journalists or getting his ass sodomized by distant associates of Paris Hilton, produces the hard-hitting documentaries in the Girls Gone Wild series. The Post reports that Francis was by Lindsay’s side during her “appendectomy” hospitalization, probably because he’s the one who sold her the shit that … um … damaged her appendix. This can really only be healthy for Linds. Way to go.