Archive for the ‘Madonna’ Category

Madonna, Your Order Has Shipped

October 17, 2006

The totally adorable and pseudo-legally adopted David Banda arrived in the U.K. yesterday. The Ritchies were nowhere to be seen, but Madonna’s publicist says David will join up with them “in the next few days.”
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Late-Night Link-o-Rama

October 17, 2006

Apparently Madonna isn’t adopting an African child so much as she’s kinda stealing one. Rule-bending in exchange for cash? In Malawi? [I’m Bringing Blogging Back]

Lindsay Lohan and Keira Knightley are going to hook up. On camera. I’m serious this time. [Pop on the Pop]

And the first interview with Michael Jackson since he left the U.S. in June 2005 goes to…Billy Bush? [Access Hollywood]

After her riveting turn making a whore of Christian Troy (like that’s hard) on Nip/Tuck, Rosie O’Donnell may get her own spin-off. [NY Post]

Today in cost-cutting: Moviefone conducts its Ashton Kutcher interview via IM. [Moviefone]

PR folks everywhere continue to realize that banning Paris Hilton from your event is a surefire way to score some publicity. I’m still totally okay with that, Esquire Show House in Los Angeles. [Hollyscoop]

ScoJo signs a deal to record her first album. The working title is Scarlett Sings Tom Waits, but they’re thinking of changing it to Hipster Masturbation 3000. [Junkiness]

We’re Gonna Call This One: Madonna Adopts African Boy

October 12, 2006

Although her publicist is still keeping busy making denials (I assume in an attempt to increase publicity surrounding the event), as E! Online says, “we’ll just have to settle for the word of the child’s father and a Malawi village chief and the director of the orphanage and an African judge and a pastor and the secretary for the Ministry for Gender and Child Welfare.”

The deputy registrar at a local courthouse tells Reuters that “Madonna and the husband filed their papers for an interim order this morning at Lilongwe High Court, and the judge gave the ruling at 2 p.m. this afternoon.”

The lucky little man is one-year-old David Banda, whose father placed him in an orphanage after his mother died days after his birth due to complications. “I am very happy,” says the father. “As you can see, there is poverty in my village. I know he will be very happy in America.” Although Madonna and her husband, Guy Ritchie, currently live in Britain (Duh, isn’t it obvious from her accent? Madonna was clearly not born and raised in Detroit), I suppose it’s still a small step up from a Malawi orphanage. Congratulations to The Ritchies, and to the luckiest adoptee since Baby Suri!

Madonna Really Just Window Shopping for Orphans

October 8, 2006

Despite her publicist’s insistence that she does not plan to adopt an AIDS-orphaned African child, Madonna continues her AIDS-orphaned African child sight-seeing tour in Malawi, which I’m told is kind of like an African safari, but, instead of admiring elephants and zebras and leaving them in peace in their natural habitat, you admire human children who have lost any remnant of hope for a life involving love and regular meals, briefly flash that hope in front of them, and then leave with it in a Hummer which, if sold only for parts, could feed and shelter each of them well into adolescence. It’s the next tourist hot spot! You heard it here first!

Afternoon Delight: Vaughniston Implodes Under the Weight of its Own Gravity (and over the phone)

October 4, 2006

  • Mischa Barton and Nicole Richie are dunzo. Barton says Richie’s “fickle,” by which she of course means “starving.”

While You Were Sleeping: The Edition Where Patrick Dempsey Grabs Your Ass While His Wife’s Not Looking

September 14, 2006

WAKE THE FUCK UP, LOS ANGELES!

Omigod you guys so much has happened since COB yesterday. So pop a couple Tylenol, get that Visine in, and have your morning beer so we can get started.