Archive for the ‘MGMT’ Category

So You Think You Can Sundance?

January 18, 2007

Hello, lovely readers!

I’m taking off in the wee hours of tomorrow morning (read: 10 a.m.) for fabulous Park City, Utah, where I will be covering the Sundance Film Festival for Film.com through Monday. I’m taking Spiteful Lars with me, because he makes me laugh and he’ll carry my bags.

This means we are leaving The Beet in the very capable hands of Miss Evil T, who will be popping in every now and then to make you laugh and to keep you updated on the very latest gossip on the five celebrities who will not be with me, snorting cocaine off Christina Ricci’s ass-cheek in a predominantly Mormon state whose bars close at one in the morning.

Film.com will be covering all aspects of the festival, with regular video updates, film reviews, photo galleries and staff diaries. You can check it all out here. So read it, watch it, look at it, link to it, live it with us and love it the way we love you.

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Rock Star of the Day Award Goes To…

December 12, 2006

My brilliant, beautiful, amazing friend Desirae, who has graciously lent me her laptop for the week since mine decided to have a complete crisis of self (and CPU) smack in the middle of finals week. THANK YOU DESIRAE! I LOVE YOU!

Very close runners-up are Evil T and Spiteful Lars, who have been keeping this thing going smoothly while I have been computer-deficient. Even when my computer is running too slowly for me to post, it perks up my day and makes me laugh out loud (in a good way) to read what they’ve posted. I LOVE YOU GUYS TOO!!!

We should be back to normal around here in the next couple of days. Thank you all for reading. Mwah!

-The Beet

Did Britney’s Vagina Break Google?

November 30, 2006

From Blogger’s status blog:

Thursday, November 30, 2006
We are currently investigating the intermittent 502 error pages on the new version of Blogger in beta and its Blog*Spot blogs. If you experience one of these errors, waiting a minute or so and refreshing may help.

I’ve talked to a few other gossip bloggers, all of whom are experiencing insane levels of traffic from people searching for Britney’s vagina. At Evil Beet yesterday we experienced traffic at more than ten times our normal level. Today we’re on track for that to be twenty times. I wonder if this sudden traffic surge is impacting Google’s Blogger servers. Man, I hope so. I hope Britney’s vagina broke Google.

Related: sorry for the 502 errors. It’s not my fault! If you try to load the site and it won’t come up, try again in a few minutes. Thanks for reading! (Or, um, looking, as is the case for most of you.)

Britney Spears’ Vagina is a Problem

November 30, 2006

Quick note from the Beet: I apologize for the incredibly slow load times lately. We’re seeing unprecedented levels of traffic, thanks to the whole freakin’ world searching for pictures of Britney Spears’ vagina. Unfortunately, they’re not our servers (but thank you, Google, for letting us use yours for free), so there’s not a whole lot we can do. Hang in there, and I’m sure traffic (and load times) will be back to normal once someone who plays sports does something interesting.

Update: For those of you who have shown up here looking for these pictures, they are here and here. Enjoy! Tell your friends! Masturbate! Vomit! Sigh…

Introducing…New Commenting Software!

November 25, 2006


Hi all. Beet here. I changed our commenting software to Haloscan last night, and this should make commenting much easier, especially for those of you who are not registered with Blogger. So quit lurking and say hello to us! We love your adoring praise, your blind, hateful criticism and, of course, your spam.

Email me at evilbeet@gmail.com if you are having problems using the new comments.

Kisses,
Evil Beet

Bringing Back Husky

November 14, 2006

Hi there.

I’ve been asked to write up a short intro to explain who I am and what exactly I think I’m doing here. What I’m doing here is easy, I is a writer. I’ve lurked in the shadows of the EvilBeet world for a long time, watching EvilB and EvilT frolic and play in the Evil meadow. Finally, one glorious day EvilBeet said to me “If you keep staring at us I’ll call the cops.” I explained to her how much I loved the site and she offered to let me join in. How could I pass up this offer? My only reservation was the fact that I am a JustoGuar and had to click off certain entries with a disgusted sigh at the non-believers.

Now, who am I? Well, I grew up predominately in Boca Raton, Florida, home of the mercilessly elderly (though we do in fact have fantastic delis). I have a mom and I used to watch My Two Dads and I don’t really want to hear any guff about Boca because I left there a decade ago with only my wits to support me. I enjoy rotini pasta. I’m qualified because I have no small amount of self loathing, indeed when I pass a mirror I generally get the feeling that something has gone drastically wrong. I hope I can entertain you despite my obvious flaws. Like a nymphomaniac’s support group you should stick with me just in case a HELL of a lot of fun breaks out.

Finally, if you’re one of those people I owe money to you can burn in hell.

Yours,
Spiteful Lars

A New Addition to the Evil Beet Family

November 14, 2006

The Beet is so, so excited to welcome a darling new boy to our little family. Spiteful Lars made his entrance to our world on November 13, 2006. Everyone is healthy and very happy. So far, he and Evil T are playing nicely together, and T is psyched to have a brother around the house. We are looking forward to many wonderful memories together.

Everyone please welcome Lars as he finds his footing in this mess we call a celeb gossip blog. Try to be nice (Justin Guarini fans, this means you). We’re psyched to have him on board, as we sorely need some testosterone around these parts. No, not those parts, perv.

Note from the Editor: It’s Britney Spears Day. Get Used to It.

November 7, 2006

I’ve given Evil T permission to post exclusively about Britney Spears’ hot body today, if she sees fit to do so. Because, around The Beet, we are always rooting for Britney Spears.

I won’t be around much, so enjoy Britney Spears Day on The Beet!

We’re Bringing in Reinforcements

October 18, 2006

Hi there! Beet here. This site continues to grow in popularity, thanks to all you awesome readers (especially those of you who send us tips), all our kick-ass Evil Cohorts, and Lindsay Lohan’s unwavering dedication to doing retarded shit and flashing her va-jay-jay. I’d like to create more content for you all daily, but what with the day job and the other job and the grad school and the late-night gas-station rendezvous in Silverlake (thanks Craigslist!), it’s getting to be a bit overwhelming.

Thankfully, I’ve found the perfect Ashley to my Mary-Kate, Miss Evil T.

T kicks it in NYC, so she’ll hold down the chillier coast while I rock the tank tops in October here in Hell-Ay (mwah-ha-ha!). She’s funny as hell, and I know she’ll be a great addition to The Beet. Be nice to her — one time, in seventh grade, she slapped a girl twice her size, and it was awesome.

Welcome to The Beet, Evil T!

Check Out Evil Beet on Film.com

October 3, 2006

Hi all! Quick note from management. First, thanks to everyone who comes by this site each day to check out what’s new and hot in celeb gossip. You guys rock!!!

Secondly, I’ve begun writing the celeb gossip blog for Film.com. It is an awesome site, with all sorts of cool info on movies, TV, DVD and celebs, written by some of the best bloggers in the blogosphere (tooting my own horn a bit, I suppose). Don’t worry — I’ll still be here writing on The Beet every day, but if you want more Evil Beet scoop with less Evil Beet swearing (or if your grandma does), be sure to check out Film.com.

Thanks!

– The Beet