Archive for the ‘Scarlett Johansson’ Category

The Lady Doth Protest Too Much, Methinks

February 13, 2007


I researched the quote to make sure I got the headline right you Shakespeare freaks. Man, you guys are worse than the LeopardRinis.

Okay, back to business, Scarlett Johannson(twins) has come out and made a very non-definitive statement about her and Timberlake.

Here it is:

“We have a lot of friends in common, and Justin’s a sweetheart, and it’s always good to see him. But there’s a lot of speculation and I try not to read that stuff. I think when two people are single and are seen together, it’s immediately like a crazy feeding frenzy.”

You know what else piques people’s interest? When you appear in a 9 minute whack off self aggrandizing J-Tim video. It’s like when that Counting Crows guy had Courteney Cox in his video. They were doing it. Or when Steven Tyler put his daughter Liv in there. You get the picture.

So don’t blame us feeding frenziers for being right on the money. You guys love each other and will have a million babies and that’s all there is to it. Unless of course he goes with Jessica. Then you’re out.

*Headline Courtesy of Hamlet*

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Late-Night Links

February 12, 2007

Just in case Britney Spears had any surviving remnant of trust for the people she allows into her life, Isaac Cohen sits down with News of the World for a tell-all just weeks after their split. [Dirty Laundry]

The JT video for “What Goes Around Comes Around,” co-starring Scarlett Johansson, has hit the Internet. I’d comment on it, but after I’d watched for a minute or two, I was in too much pain to continue. I’d feel bad passing judgment without viewing the remaining seven freakin’ minutes. [POTP]

Someone leaked a topless photo of Jen Aniston from the set of The Break-Up. Hooray boobies! [The Blemish]

More music videos: The Killers “Read My Mind” and Scissor Sisters “She’s My Man.” [Bree, popbytes]

Ralph Fiennes joins the mile-high club. [Warship]

Justin’s Bringing ScarlettBack

February 6, 2007

Ladies and gentlemen, Justin Timberlake is dating. Yes, that’s right, he’s dating. There is more than one woman in whom he is interested, and so he is spending time romantically with both of them. You’d think the media would be familiar with this concept, as they all watch Grey’s Anatomy, and Meredith laid the concept out pretty clearly a couple months back, but everyone still seems shocked. It’s not a committed relationship … but it’s not cheating … how do we frame this?

After frollicking around Sundance with Jessica Biel, JT was back in the arms of Scarlett Johansson in Miami. The two were spotted at a Super Bowl afterparty, where, according to witnesses, “they were talking, dancing, holding hands all night – it was very cozy. Then, as they left through the back, Justin was leaning against the wall and Scarlett came up, leaned into him and did a sexy, little dance, grinding into his body.”

I am really, really happy about this, mostly because Jessica Biel is certain to be really, really unhappy about this. I take great pleasure in the little things.

New Couple Alert?

January 29, 2007

Just because these two are having an intimate lunch doesn’t mean that they are doin’ it…
Let’s just say that they are. It is most fun that way.
Scarlett Johansson has been recently linked to Justin Timberlake and Mark Wahlberg has two children with his girlfriend, Rhea Durham.

She’s quite the maneater.

Maybe she just was getting some acting tips from Marky Mark?

Late-Night Links

January 24, 2007

Before we begin, I want to thank Evil T for doing a kick-ass job of holding this place down while I was out of town. She is a total rock star, and I have no idea what I’d do without her. Thanks T! Now, on to the links …

Wait, Tom Cruise isn’t already Jesus? [Celebslam]

Robbie Williams plans to give Elton John the gift of his penis. [Cele|bitchy]

Jared Leto and his earflaps are totally ready to throw down, bitch. [Agent Bedhead]

New pics of Scarlett. You know you’re going to click. Don’t try to fight it. [The Blemish]

Wow, Mandy Moore even depresses herself! [Celebrity Smack]

Something about Jenna Jameson, Paris Hilton, and girls who want to lose their virginity. As the premise for a television show. I can’t read any further. I feel dirty. On behalf of our country. [Pop on the Pop]

The indiest thing I have ever loved just gave birth to a little girl. Unfortunately, she had to go and ruin it by naming the kid Petah. But congrats anyway, Ani DiFranco. [CBB]

Late-Night Links

January 9, 2007

Hilary Swank’s New Year’s resolution is to give away the swag she gets for free, like, every time she leaves her house. That’s nice. My New Year’s resolution is to stop cutting myself when I have to read about how Hilary Swank gets free stuff every time she leaves the house. [Gabsmash]

If you position yourself correctly, you just might be able to have sex with Keira Knightley’s abs. [The Blemish]

Gwen Stefani looking hot in Elle. [Monica Monroe]

Jewel says she’s giving up acting. What? When did she act? Is she referring to that one time she acted like she could write poetry and released a whole book of it? Oh, please say she is. [IBBB]

JT finally cops to the Cam break-up, may or may not be porking Scarlett Johansson. Regardless, it’s nice to see that everyone is at all times remembering to make “dick-in-a-box” jokes when they talk about him. [Agent Bedhead]

Will Smith at the London premiere of “Pursuit of Happyness” with his happi famili. Two can play at this game, Will. [Juicy-News]

Oh, miracle of miracles! There’s actually video of Paris running out of gas near Beverly Hills. A full five minutes of it. [Splash]

Really Early-Morning Links

December 21, 2006

Sharon Stone and Christian Slater are dating. This is a recipe for … well … lots of really good cocaine. [CelebSlam]

Tara Reid can still get modeling jobs. [Rappy’s]

Josh and Scarlett have come to terms with the fact that they are the sexiest people under 30 on the face of this planet, and they simply have no choice but to date each other. [The Blemish]

Joan Rivers, now officially senile, thinks this country considers Jessica Simpson an intellectual. [Agent Bedhead]

Yes, of course Halle Berry’s releasing an album. What did you expect her to do at this stage of her career? Act? [Pop on the Pop]

Evangeline Lilly’s Hawaii home burns down. This is where I write a joke that demonstrates some background knowledge of Evangeline Lilly or that show she’s on. I have no such knowledge. [Bricks and Stones]

Check out the first track from Whitney Houston’s comeback album. [Bossip]

Early Evening Links

December 7, 2006

Can you believe I got these things up before 10 pm?? GO ME!!!

Jennifer Hudson needs additional media training. [Defamer]

Mario Lopez and Dancing with the Stars partner Katrina Smirnoff are doing the horizontal tango, if you know what I mean. [MollyGood]

Reese Witherspoon(‘s breasts) look amazing at the Kennedy Center Honors. [Yeeeah!]

Jen and Vince’s reps join forces to put the final nail in the Vaughniston coffin: “Jennifer and Vince mutually agreed to end their relationship.” The reps admit the two broke up in October, after Jen visited Vince in London. So, you know, right around when the blogosphere said they did. [Dirty Laundry]

Paul Walker has no need for talent. Good thing, too. [Celebrity Smack]

Scarlett Johansson: “Please masturbate to me. I want you to. I need you to. Do it three, four, five times a day. Before bed, in the morning, at the office, at your children’s day care, between rounds of golf, in front of your girlfriend, at your mother’s house, in the boss’s office, in the cafeteria, onto the mashed potatoes, anywhere, everywhere, I don’t care, just as long as you’re masturbating to me.” [Agent Bedhead]

Lance Bass says that he and Reichen are still trying to work things out. He made the statement via MySpace, which is totally Hollywood’s hottest PR agency right now. [ICYDK]

Photos from Johnny Depp’s first wedding in 1983. [popbytes]

Josh Hartnett Cheats on Scarlett???

November 20, 2006


Scarlett Johansson is currently in England filming The Other Boleyn Girl, but perhaps her thoughts should be focused on The Other Hartnett Girl. Scarlett’s boyfriend, Josh Hartnett, was recently spotted in Sydney having a seemingly romantic weekend with a woman who is definitely not Scarlett. When Josh and his girl were spotted at an airport, the actor told photogs to “get fucked.”

Rumors of trouble in the ScoJo/Hartnett paradise have been circulating for awhile. Scarlett is said to be unhappy with the fact that Josh is always away filming, and I think Josh is having some trouble coping with the fact that every man on the planet jacks off to his girlfriend. Remember, before Scarlett, Josh dated his high-school sweetheart, Ellen Fenster, until early 2004, way after he was already famous. So is it really a big surprise that he’s back to messing around with a no-name?

Picking up the Pieces

November 16, 2006

Oh hells no! Britney removes K-Fed from her top 12 on MySpace. That’s what you get for writing mean things about her on shower walls, Kevin. [Faded Youth]

Kate Moss and Pete Doherty are turned away from the London world premiere of Casino Royale, after someone very wise determined that perhaps Queen Elizabeth should not share a red carpet with a world-renowned cokehead. [Agent Bedhead]

Madonna confirms that she plans to adopt a baby girl from Malawi, in order to “redress the balance” in her family. Madonna says things like “redress” because she’s British. Oh wait. [Dirty Laundry]

Donald Trump is going to be a grandpa. Sadly, it’s not because Lance Armstrong knocked up Ivanka. [The Bosh]

Madame Tussaud’s unveils the new Ashlee Simpson wax likeness. What’s that? Oh, I’m told that’s actually Ashlee Simpson. [Celebrity Smack]

Okay, so, in college, some friends and I determined that Sexual Misadventures with Kimmy Gibbler would be, hands-down, the best band name ever. My reasons for mentioning this now are twofold. First, it’s still true, and someone should get on that. Second, Bob Saget actually makes reference to sex with Kimmy Gibbler in this clip of his stand-up, where he sings “Danny Tanner Is Not Gay” to the tune of the Backstreet Boys’ “I Want it That Way.” [BWE]

Are you ready to masturbate to sneakers? Reebok sure hopes so. They’ve hired Scarlett to co-create a line of footwear and apparel and star in the ad campaign. [IDLYITW]

Finally! It’s time for the Reese Witherspoon love interest rumors! Up first: Jake Gyllenhaal. [Hollywood Grind]