Why is Britney’s Mom Hanging with FedEx?

February 23, 2007

Britney Spears’ mother, Lynne Spears, was spotted entering Kevin Federline’s Malibu home around 1:30 pm on Thursday, and was there until at least 10 pm. What’s up with that? They’re probably talking about what the hell to do about Britney, and I suppose it’s possible that there’s an agreement in place allowing Lynne to spend time with the kids while Brit’s in rehab. Actually, that’s probably the only reason Britney agreed to go back to rehab.

It was my understanding originally that Britney left Promises, and then Kevin filed for custody of the kids. But it’s starting to sound like Kevin filed for custody of the kids while Britney was at Promises (the first time), and when she heard about it, she checked out to try to fight for her kids.

Her father, Jamie, was quoted as saying, “We have a sick little girl. We’re just trying to take care of her.”

Hey, what’s up with Lynne Spears wearing a ring? Britney’s parents divorced a few years ago, and I can’t find any record of Lynne remarrying. Did I miss this?

Anyway, Britney, congratulations on your first 24 hours in rehab! Hang in there, baby!!!


Late-Night Links

February 23, 2007

Prince Harry has officially been deployed to Iraq, where his Nazi garb should go over particularly well. [A Socialite’s Life]

Rumor has it Jennifer Lopez will be performing on American Idol in April. [IBBB]

Wow, even a wax version of Rachael Ray annoys me. [Agent Bedhead]

Nick Cannon marries a Victoria’s Secret model he started dating three weeks ago. In Vegas. Oh, like you wouldn’t. [Cele|bitchy]

The Britney “Shears” Photoshop contest. Seriously, some goddamn genius made a Smashing Pumpkins call. A must-see. [Stereogum]

That bothersome buzzing noise coming from the outer edges of the blogosphere is Kim Kardashian, still fucking talking about a sex tape that has nothing to do with Britney Spears or Anna Nicole. [Warship]

The video of the Judge Seidlin Show pilot Anna Nicole Smith verdict. [Ninja Dude]

Larry Birkhead claims that Anna Nicole miscarried a child by him in 2005. Additionally, he asserts that Princess Di used to send him naked pictures of herself, that Dana Plato planned to tattoo his face on her ass, and that there is an invisible purple elephant doing the Macarena in the middle of the room right now. Go ahead, prove him wrong. [INO]

The Harry Potter Cock

February 23, 2007

It’s here at last! The long-awaited Harry Potter crotch shot, in all its uncircumsized glory. Check out the size of the beet we had to use on this one! If this is Photoshopped, it’s damn good. There have been some comments made by people who actually saw the play that this is not what his penis looks like — he has larger testicles in person, seems to be the most common complaint — but, you know what? I don’t care.

Daniel Radcliffe, welcome to my radar.

Click to see the full monty.

Thanks to dlisted for the heads-up.

Idol Wear 2007

February 23, 2007

So I was doing some fun Googling of my favorite AI contestants and I stumbled upon some funny stuff on CafePress.com…IDOL WEAR! Every year each Idol gets some very cheesy “vote for me” slogans and this year is no exception. Go to the website and search for your favorite Idol wear. Here is a smattering of the cheese that is America’s most popular TV show.

I really hope you understood the whole dude dancing in a sun is Sundance Head.

I Love NBC

February 23, 2007

Remember How Less Than an Hour Ago I Said the Anna Nicole Remains Trial Was Over?

February 23, 2007

If you don’t remember, it’s here.

But don’t dwell on that, because it’s not over. Poor Anna cannot yet rest in peace with her son.

Virgie Arthur’s lawyer has announced plans to appeal the decision. They plan to formally file the appeal tomorrow morning. Virgie, Anna’s mother, wants Anna brought back to Texas, and everyone else on the planet wants this poor woman to be buried with her beloved son in the Bahamas. I don’t understand why her mother is doing this. Anna hated Texas and she hated her life there and she hated hated hated her mother. Let the poor woman rest in peace. It’s over, lady.

It’s Official: Christina Aguilera Either Is or Is Not Pregnant

February 22, 2007

Not that anyone asked for my opinion, but, based on this picture, I think this girl has several healthy toddlers living in her breasts. And when they’re done using the space, several adult men plan to rent it for polo matches. In her tummy, though? I’ve got no idea. Neither does anyone else.

Christina Aguilera is not pregnant, the singer’s rep tells Usmagazine.com.

The statement was issued in response to magazine and newspaper reports published Wednesday claiming that the 26-year-old is expecting a child.

“It’s all made up,” the rep tells Us.

An employee at the Beverly Hills kids boutique Bellini told the New York Daily News that Aguilera and her husband of more than a year, Jordan Bratman, went on a $3,000 shopping spree at the store on Saturday where she confided that she’s having a baby.

“They seemed really excited,” a worker at the boutique told the Daily News.

“She was talking to [another customer] and she said she took a home pregnancy test and that it was positive. She kept saying they’d have to come back when they knew the sex of the baby.”

However, Xtina’s rep says that the employee needs to get her eyes checked because the singer was 50,000 feet in the air at the time of the supposed sighting.

“She was not at Bellini. She was on a plane to Las Vegas for the NBA appearance.”


It’s Over (Kind Of)

February 22, 2007

Richard Milstein, the court-appointed guardian of Dannielynn, has announced that Anna Nicole Smith with be buried in the Bahamas, with her late son.

But we still have the paternity testing next week!

Anna Nicole Verdict…

February 22, 2007

Man this judge is a jackass. What a blow-hard.

A bunch of stuff was denied. I don’t understand the legalese.

Jesus, this judge looks like he’s trying not to cry. What a tool. What the fuck is going on here? Holy shit the judge is crying.

They awarded the remains to the lawyer representing Dannielynn. He asks that this lawyer consult with all involved parties in making a decision.

Howard Stern’s head is on the table. Virgie Arthur is crying.

“I want her buried,” says the judge, “with her son. In the Bahamas. I want them to be together.” But he’s leaving that decision up to Dannielynn’s lawyer, who I assume will agree to have her buried in the Bahamas.

Howard K. Stern is sobbing audibly. His freakin’ lawyer is crying. Everybody is crying. Except Larry Birkhead. He’s not crying.

“And I hope to God,” says the judge, “You guys give the kid the right shot.” He’s still crying. This is the strangest damn thing I have ever seen.

The lawyers ask for a bunch of stuff I don’t understand, then ask for use of the chambers for the rest of the afternoon. The judge says sure in the most long-winded, blow-hardy way. They want the courtroom sealed for their discussions. No cameras. Judge says sure.

Court adjourned.

Britney Attacks the Paparazzi with an UMBRELLA!

February 22, 2007

Check out photos and footage taken just hours before she re-admitted herself to Promises. Craziness, but I don’t really blame her. Those photogs are merciless.

Oh, and the judge in the Florida Anna Nicole case is expected to deliver a verdict in the next few minutes…