Weekend Round-Up

Oh thank heavens. Aaron Carter and Jack Osbourne are feuding. And here I was worried it was going to be another slow news week. [AllieIsWired]

Heather Locklear and David Spade left Mr. Chow’s in the same car, so, as a responsible journalist, I must assume they are dating again. [SplashNews]

YouTube quickly pulled the video of the Kanye West tirade at the MTV Europe VMAs, but Google doesn’t own iFilm yet. Boo-yah. [iFilm]

Daniel Craig is getting rave reviews as the new 007, but it seems he has a bit of a potty mouth. This link also has the long version of the Casino Royale trailer. [The Bosh]

If you weren’t fortunate enough to attend Shanna Moakler’s Las Vegas divorce party in person, you can experience all the emotional health and maturity in these pictures. I hope you get a good, hearty laugh out of them, like I’m sure her children will. [ICYDK]

Don’t stock up on Vaseline just yet — it’s only a rumor thus far — but there is, allegedly, a Scarlett Johansson sex tape in existence, and someone is trying to sell it. [Eluid]

Paris and Nicole pose for their very first pictures as a reunited couple. Nicole’s dyed her hair dark brown — it actually looks nice — and, I could be dreaming, but, based on several pictures I’ve seen of her from this weekend, it looks like she may actually be putting on some weight. Way to go, Nicole! [Rappy’s]

What Happened to Aaron Carter?

Seriously people, what happened to Aaron Carter? He used to be a cute little tween star who dated Hilary Duff and now, after watching an episode of “House of Carters” I am shocked. He looks strung out and is covered in tattoos. It is sad because he really has had a messed up home life.

I know that poor Aaron has been through a lot. In 2003, his mother and sister spoke out during the Michael Jackson hysteria and admitted that he had spent a night in the superstar’s Neverland Ranch. They publicly wondered if anything had happened between the two. I bet that was a healthy thing for Aaron, you know, to deny he was MOLESTED by Michael Jackson because his mother brought it up in the media. Following this, he also severed ties with his mother when he claimed that she took $100,000 out of his bank account.

This site claims that during the height of his teen fame Aaron spent “$1,500 to $2,000 on drugs every month.” This claim was substantiated by the National Enquirer who came out with the above picture of Aaron reportedly smoking pot when he was 15.

Then he proposes to his 22-year-old former-Playboy-model fiancee Kari Anne Peniche in Vegas and quickly takes it back. I hope Nick Carter is helping his little bro because his E! True Hollywood Story is on its way.

OMFG Please Watch House of Carters

ARE YOU WATCHING HOUSE OF CARTERS? Because these Carter boys are not going to stop humiliating themselves in the press until you do, and I don’t know how much more of it I can take. As if Hilary Duff hasn’t had a hard enough month, Aaron Carter announces that he cheated on her toward the end of their relationship. “She was my first love,” he says, “and, actually, I never cheated on her…until towards the end.”

The admission comes just a couple weeks after Aaron’s brother Nick spoke to the press about cheating on former girlfriend Paris Hilton and losing his virginity to an infamous pedophile. Please, guys, please. Make it stop.

Suddenly I Believe Nick Carter Beat up Paris Hilton

A clip from House of Carters. What an ass. And it appears Aaron Carter has a habit of picking up his brother’s sloppy seconds.

Paris Hilton Charged Formally with DUI

• Kari Ann Peniche(‘s publicist) finally breaks her day-long silence about the abrupt and predictable end to her week-long engagement to Aaron Carter.

• Brandon Davis gets in his second fight this week. I think he and Jason Wahler have an agreement to alternate days.

• Would you like to see a (tragically, censored) video of Steve-O urinating on his own red carpet? You’re in luck!

• Paris Hilton is formally charged with that DUI she picked up earlier this month. The maximum sentence is six months in jail, so keep your fingers crossed.

• The new Killers album is available for streaming on The Leak.

• NBC has complete episodes of Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip and Heroes available on its website. Not to be outdone, ABC has most of its primetime lineup available online, too. See, folks? Desperate Housewives may not be funny anymore, but boy oh boy is it ever accessible!

Lunch-Break Quickies: Are Paris & Nicole BFF Again?

• Hey boys! Just when you thought masturbating to thoughts of Miss Cleo couldn’t get any better — turns out she’s a lezzie!
• Aaron Carter breaks off his week-long engagement to Kari Ann Peniche, because he’s now met the requisite media usage quota of “House of Carters” as detailed in his contract with E!, and because, you know, she used to fuck his brother.
• KFed’s not even going to include “PoPoZao” on his debut album, Playing with Fire; it’s being replaced by a duet between him and his wife, Britney Spears. So, by its late October release date, we should all be ready to welcome Britney Spears’ Playing with Fire, featuring Kevin Federline.
• Are Paris & Nicole combining their evil powers once again?
• How many people does it take to wax Scarlett Johansson’s vag? A whole “waxing crew,” apparently. [via Junkiness]
• Triumph the Insult Comic Dog bangs fellow puppet Ernie of Sesame Street. The folks at Childrens’ Workshop are all like “even our audience knows that stupid dog is played out.”
• Jackass Number Two makes number one at the box office. This, folks, is why the terrorists hate us.

Morning Scoop: Tara Reid Not Really So Psyched on This "Web 2.0" Thing

• Ew! When I reported earlier that House of Carter‘s Aaron Carter got engaged to Playboy model Kari Ann Peniche, I was completely unaware that Peniche used to date Nick Carter, Aaron’s older brother. That is just so wrong.
• Tom Green (remember him? no?) shatters his tibia while skateboarding. He plans to air film of the surgery on his online talk show, Tom Green Live, which certainly won’t garner anywhere near the attention he received for his televised testicle surgery, or, you know, for his televised show.
• Where is the love? Justin Timberlake lashes out at the X17 cameramen, and, according to them, has since involved the police. Will someone please give that kid some more of the weed he’s cool enough to smoke now?
• Tara Reid’s new horror flick, Incubus, is not quite up to straight-to-video standards. Instead, they’re sending it straight to download. Tara’s not really aware of this news, because she’s still on lots of pain meds from her recent breast reduction. They’re going to break the news to her when she sobers up, like in a year or so.