Take That, Paris Hilton!!!

Oh, wait, Paris Hilton doesn’t care anymore. Paris Hilton hasn’t cared for months. That’s like 28 scandals ago. So Travis Barker and his newly acquired batch of herpes are back in the arms of Shanna Moakler, even though they both deny it like crazy (getting back together, not the herpes). At Pure in Vegas last night.

Well, Yes, Of Course Shanna and Travis Are Back Together

It’s like this: the most fool-proof way to get it to rain is to get your car washed, right?

Similarly, the obvious way to ensure your ex-husband will get Paris Hilton out of his system (or, more likely, to ensure Paris Hilton will get your ex-husband out of her system) and come back to you is to throw a goddamn “divorce party” in Las Vegas.

Well-played, Shanna. Well-played.

After a dirty, dirty, dirty, dirty, dirty split, the Meet the Barkers costars were spotted holding hands at Disneyland on Saturday, and cuddling at the Roosevelt last night. Sources say they are definitely back together.

Late-Night Links

Shanna Moakler continues her image rehabilitation tour by dating Jenna Jameson’s soon-to-be ex-husband, porn producer (and sometime star) Jay Grdina. It’s neat how both Shanna and her ex-husband, Travis Barker, have managed to find new love in porn stars. [Celebslam]

Check out the video for J-Lo’s new song, “Que Hiciste.” [popbytes]

Smashing Pumpkins rocker Billy Corgan is hooking up with Certifiably Insane Recovering Heroin Addict Courtney Love. [Agent Bedhead]

Paris Hilton runs out of gas in Beverly Hills, hangs out and flips through a scrapbook while the paparazzi run to get her gas. Rough life. [NYP]

Former SNL star Chris Kattan gets engaged to some hot chick he would totally never have landed had he not found some measure of fame playing Mango and Mr. Peepers. [Pop on the Pop]

Awww…this is really cute! Total hotties Jennifer Morrison and Jesse Spencer, who both play doctors on House M.D., are engaged. Congratulations! [Cele|bitchy]

Late-Night Links…They’re Baaack!

Memo to Pam Anderson: asking Heidi Fleiss to be your matchmaker is like — well — asking Kid Rock to be your husband. [A Socialite’s Life]

Fantasia is looking a little hot and bothered. [IBBB]

Hooray! Shanna Moakler and Travis Barker are sucking face again. I bet now she feels really bad for not inviting him to her divorce party. [Pop on the Pop]

If you are currently running a major Britney-focused fansite, and you’d like to expand your Internet empire to cover the whole celeb gossip kingdom, now would really be the perfect time to shut down your Britney site, blame it on Britney’s loss of “identity and credibility,” and let gossip bloggers worldwide write about it, creating priceless hype for the project you hope to launch in the new year. Oh, someone already thought to do that? Damn. [The Blemish, World of Britney]

70% of Victoria Beckham’s weight is nipples. That’s nearly 35 pounds of nipples! [Agent Bedhead]

You know how, sometimes, you can be, like, a 100% heterosexual woman, and yet there are totally a handful of chicks you would probably have sex with? Yeah. Dita Von Teese. [Celebrity Smack]

Hey, Meg Ryan, your breasts are kind of like your career: they’re not just going to hold themselves up forever. [Cele|bitchy]

Late-Night Links

Christina Aguilera does a little drinkin’ herself. [Perez Hilton]

I’ve lost track of how many times Snoop Dogg’s been arrested this year. But add one. [TMZ]

Travis Barker and Shanna Moakler take a break from hating one another to get dinner at Mr. Chow’s. [Pop on the Pop]

Milla Jovovich? Still hot. [CelebSlam]

Gasp! One of the Gotti kids got arrested. [DListed]

Cameron Diaz can’t marry Justin Timberlake because she’s “commitment-phobic.” And certainly not because he hasn’t proposed. [HollyScoop]

Lindsay Lohan is in movies? Huh. [Pajiba]

Just for the record, I was into Regina Spektor before anybody. This song was on my MySpace page like a hundred years ago. Just so everyone knows. [BWE]

Late-Night Links: Ack! Eating Disorders Everywhere! GRAB A COOKIE AND AIM!

Thanks anyway, Katharine McPhee, but Nicole Richie doesn’t need advice from some recovering bulimic, no matter how desperate said bulimic may be to extend her fifteen minutes of fame. Besides, everyone knows bulimics are just wannabe anorexics who got too damn hungry. [Gossip or Truth]

Also cashing in her eating disorder chip today is Alison Clinton, the nanny Sara Evans accused of sleeping with her sex addict of a husband. She claims Evans’ allegations have triggered an anorexia relapse. And her brothers are going to Iraq. And she’s unemployed. She weighs just over seventy pounds, and, as part of her recovery program, it’s important that information be distributed to the entire readership of Star magazine. [Star]

But wait! We’re not through with eating disorders yet! Up now: Kate Bosworth has opted to embrace Karen Carpenter’s wardrobe along with her fatal illness. [Teddy and Moo]

Travis Barker and Shanna Moakler: Battle of the MySpace Blogs. Come for the venom. Stay for the spelling mistakes. [Tabloid Whore]

Seriously, maybe we should just stop inviting Kanye West to awards shows. [Bossip]

AmIdol‘s Kelly Pickler releases her first album, entitled — shockingly — Small Town Girl. They’re planning on using a photo of her visiting her father in jail as the cover. And she’ll be holding a book upside-down. And eating sushi with an eyelash curler. [Girls Talkin’ Smack]

God Bless MySpace

From Travis Barker’s MySpace blog:

SOMEBODY SENT A MESSAGE AND A FLYER WAS ATTATCHED (I POSTED IT BELOW). SHANNA IS HAVING A DIVORCE PARTY FOR HERSELF IN CELEBRATION OF OUR FAILED MARRIAGE APPARENTLY….. THIS IS THE SAME WIFE THAT EMAILED ME TO TELL ME SHE WOULD BE SLEEPING WITH HER NEW BOYFRIEND IN MY BED THE DAY OF OUR ANNIVERSARY 2 DAYS AGO SO THIS DOESN’T COME AS A SHOCK. AND THE SAME PERSON WHO IS MAKING “I LOVE SHANNA” SHIRTS FOR PEOPLE TO BUY, IN SUPPORT OF ALL THIS AND PLAYING THE VICTIM, IT SADDENS ME PEOPLE AND EVEN BRINGS ON THE URGE TO PUKE, HOPE IT DOES YOU AS WELL. IM GONNA SAY A LONG PRAYER FOR HER, SHE NEEDS IT. THERE ISN’T A PART OF SHANNA AND I AND THE FACT OUR MARRIAGE FAILED THAT I COULD BE CELEBRATING OR HAPPY ABOUT EVEN AFTER ALL OF THIS TIME IT WAS OUR FAMILY…IT WAS ALL WE HAD……I MEAN A PARTY??? WHAT DOESN’T KILL ME MAKES ME STRONGER:) GOODNIGHT AND MAY THE FORCE BE WITH U….STAR WARS IS ON AND THIS IS NOW IN THE PAST. HOPE SHANNA’S PARTY IS EVERYTHING SHE COULD HOPE 4.

He is, of course, referencing this little blow-out.

[via BarbieMartini]

If You Are in Vegas This Weekend

You too can be a part of Shanna Moakler’s “Divorce Party” at Light, the club in the Bellagio. Wow, way to be shameless girl. Shanna, since her separation, has gotten into a public feud with Paris Hilton, rode a “Glacier” into New York’s harbor to promote Smirnoff Vodka, and now is having a party to celebrate her broken marriage.

I wonder where her kids are in all of this? Her husband is doing Paris Hilton and she is off throwing parties in Vegas. Way to be parents Barkers!

Thanks to [Perez Hilton] for some great Shanna Moakler coverage.

Afternoon Delight: The Jessica Simpson Got Fat Edition

• Jessica Simpson hits the street with her sister Ashlee. She’s put on a LOT of weight this year, and I think she’s trying to hide it with this black parachute of an outfit, but it really just draws attention to it. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: her stylists hate her.
• Whitney Houston confirms that she plans to divorce Bobby Brown. Their 14-year marriage survived the fact that they’re both egomaniacal crackheads, but it just couldn’t make it through a reality TV show. Will you people never learn? Reality TV kills marriages. Always.
• Paris Hilton is fucking Travis Barker for one reason and one reason alone: he is recently separated from the mother of his children and people will talk about it and her picture will be in all the papers. On most days, I find Paris amusingly self-absorbed and her antics voyeuristically engaging. With this, I just think she’s a piece of shit. It’s low even for her.
• The angry, lucrative buzz surrounding the upcoming season of Survivor: Racism has been more of a dull hum these past couple of days. But CBS was prepared for such a lull with its secret weapon — a CBS Corp. board member who is also the President of the NAACP. Wanna know what the NAACP thinks of Survivor: Racism today? Not such big fans. Go ahead, talk amongst yourselves. Call your mother. Write your senator. Blog about it. Buzzzzzz.