Late-Night Links

Yay! Trista and Ryan from The Bachelorette are expecting a baby! [Gone Hollywood]

Donald Trump may pull a Britney. [Cele|bitchy]

The Beckham’s actual reality was too dull, so they’ve created scripted characters for their “reality” show. You know, just like every other reality show ever. [POTP]

Kurt Cobain would have been forty this Tuesday. [Bree]

Reese Witherspoon and George Clooney? I’m sure this is not true, but I’ll dutifully pass along the rumor. [Holy Candy]

Paris Hilton’s birthday party in Vegas had not a single A-lister. She partied with midgets and monkeys. She’s probably going to check herself into rehab tomorrow just so someone will pay attention to her. [The Blemish]

Mischa Barton’s kid sister checks into rehab. [A Socialite’s Life]

Nicole Richie pleads not guilty to DUI, writes heartfelt thank-you letter to Britney Spears. [Hollywood Grind]

Mid-Day Links

Comin’ atcha early today…

Bridget Moynahan and Tom Brady split up in December … but they’re expecting a baby late this summer. [ICYDK]

Dog the Bounty Hunter has been cleared for extradition to Mexico, where they prefer serial rapists to bounty hunters. [Girls Talkin Smack]

Now I understand why Britney decided to shave her head this weekend … it was Paris Hilton’s birthday, and the blogosphere barely noticed. So sad! [Holy Candy]

Check out Anna Nicole’s actual will. [Ninja Dude]

Just when you thought nothing about Vanilla Ice could possibly get more pathetic … bring on the tax rap. [NewsToob]

Britney Spears and Snow White’s Dopey: separated at birth? [Allie is Wired]

Sports Illustrated models work the red carpet (in dresses, but still hot). [Drunken Stepfather]

Austrians Throw Trash at Paris Hilton

Awesome. She gets evacuated. I think my favorite part of this is how her song is pumping in the background as the security guards move her away from the raining cigarettes. It’s poetic, really. Very Grey’s Anatomy.

[via POTP]

Paris Hilton Goes For Tongue

Note: I may be taking this photo out of context.

Late-Night Links

There’s a sixth hat in the Dannielynn paternity ring. And he’s in jail. Nice. [dlisted]

Brit-pop up-and-comer Lily Allen sports some conspiracy theories. [Buzznet]

You thought Austria was neutral? Not when it comes to Paris Hilton. They threw trash at her. [POTP]

Wow, remember that Uruguayan model who died of an anorexia-related heart attack in August? Her younger sister, also a model, just died the same way. Unbelievable. All together now, girls: starving is not cool. [Cele|bitchy]

L.A. comedy clubs seem to be the hot-spot for bitchy comedian screaming matches lately. This week: Carlos Mencia and Joe Rogan throw down. Check out the video. [Celebrity Smack]

Taylor Hicks is that abhorrent sort of diva who doesn’t even allow other men to watch him pee. For shame! [Celebslam]

TRL is dead. Vanessa Minnillo is unemployed. Jessica Simpson is doing a happy dance. [Just Jared]

Katie Holmes in Harper’s Bazaar. [Warship]

Late-Night Links

Justin Timberlake announces plans to launch his own television network, JT TV. I announce plans to throw up a little in my mouth. [POTP]

Remember Lindsay Lohan? [The Blemish]

Mischa Barton does her very best Crocodile Dundee. [Celebslam]

Anna Nicole was cheating … on TRIMSPA! Leave it to CourtTV to get the hard facts in this case. [TMZ]

T.R. Knight is not getting pushed around by anyone anymore! You hear that, Diddy? [Cele|bitchy]

Jessica Simpson and John Mayer pose for some prom post-Grammy photos. [Tabloid Whore]

Paris Hilton won’t have her true commitment to the ground-breaking creation of novel soundscapes diluted by an extended appearance at such self-congratulatory nonsense as the Grammy awards. But you can take her picture real quick. [Defamer]

See? Sarah Silverman is funny. I told you so. [Gawker]

Heather(ette)s

Heatherette gets no love. The hipster fashion line debuted its new line at NYC Fashion Week on Tuesday, sans a model and a high-profile guest. Paris Hilton — a longtime friend of the designer duo — was slated to walk the runway, and Britney Spears had front row seats. Paris canceled at the last minute, citing a stomach ache, but Radar provides a little more insight. Paris was spotted doing shots of tequila at Butter with Brandon Davis until 3:30 in the morning, at which point she puked and went home for some, uh, beauty sleep.

Britney Spears was also a no-show. The Daily News sheds some light on this one: “Ten minutes before the show started, they got a call that Britney was in the parking area outside,” says a backstage source. “They went out with a Heatherette sweatshirt [Ed: As opposed to, you know, the kind of sweatshirt with which they wouldn’t be able to plug their line to the Daily News.] to throw over her head, but there was no Britney. She got to the parking lot and bailed.” Why the about-face? Apparently Britney hadn’t heard that Paris called in sick. She got cold feet about running into Hilton, as their BFF-ship has cooled … well … about as quickly as anyone expected, with Paris now referring to Brit as “The Animal,” and not in a nice way, either. Sigh. Break-ups are so rough.

Who wins in a battle like this? Well, Heatherette, obviously. Britney and Paris garnered more publicity for the show by both not attending than they would have if they’d been there. Paris has been buddies with the Heatherette duo for awhile, so I can’t help but wonder if this was all planned from the start. But I guess I can’t rule out the possibility that Paris and Britney are just grossly irresponsible and operating with the same level of maturity as the girl who sometimes threw pebbles at me in middle school.

Late-Night Links

Best and worst of Super Bowl ads. [Film.com]

Ryan Phillippe is all about fatherhood. That and cheating on his wife. [PopSugar]

Kimora Lee gets all lesbo at Cipriani. [Cele|bitchy]

Kim Kardashian takes a page from the Paris Hilton playbook, keeps the sex tape rumors alive. [The Blemish]

Jessica Simpson dyes her hair auburn, colors face to match. [Pop on the Pop]

Ron Jeremy and Paris Hilton once played a little game of I’ll-show-you-mine-if-you’ll-show-me-yours in a bathroom stall. If they wanted to see each other’s naughty bits, they both could have saved some time and checked the Internet. [Warship]

Jennifer Love Hewitt and her cleavage hit up The Ivy for some publicity lunch. Oh, Love. I don’t even know what you’re working on now. The Horse Whisperer? Or something? You’ll always be that girl who gave it up to Bailey Salinger in my mind. [Rappy’s]

Ryan O’Neal understands that the publics needs — nay, deserves — a full account of his fireplace-poker-swinging battle with his son. [Defamer]

Jeff Zucker takes the reins at NBC. Hang on tight. [Jossip]

Paris Packs a Pipe Like a Champ

Since it is Celebrity Drug use day I thought that I would post a fun photo of Paris Hilton. You know, from that little site that she is using for publicity. I find this one particularly funny because I think Paris actually does have a redeemable skill other than partying and posing for the paparazzi. I think she is really good at smoking weed. Usually she is smoking with someone else (the person taking the photo in question) but she is always the one packing the pipe/rolling the joint etc…

So for those of you that say “Paris Hilton isn’t talented!” maybe we have found her one true talent. Think about it. Back in the day there was always that person in high school that was just really good at getting that weed ready to smoke.

Since Hollywood is like high school…maybe Paris is just that person. Not only does she buy her friends admission to the hotties parties but she packs their bongs. Beautiful isn’t it?

Kitson Unveils New Hilton-Themed T-Shirts!

[President Monkey by way of Defamer]