Another One Bites the Dust

It’s official: despite constant denials, Jennifer Lopez and Marc Anthony are practicing Scientology. They have been spotted at the Scientology Celebrity Center in Hollywood, and have been taking Scientology courses at least since December. They were introduced to the religion by Leah Remini’s hubby, Angelo Pagan (that’s his actual last name). This explains why the couple has been all BFF with TomKat recently. I’m sure it’s just a matter of time before we hear that Posh & Becks are Scientologists too. All hail Xenu!

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Jennifer Lopez is turning to Scientologist pal Leah Remini for tips on how the religion can help her get knocked up. Does Xenu recommend you have a three-man camera crew from VH1 living in your house throughout the process, Leah? [I’m Not Obsessed]

Look, MTV, when you’ve resorted to The Real World: Denver, you can’t exactly expect viewership to soar. Up next: Road Rules: Presidential Libraries. [Pop on the Pop]

Tony Parker caves. [Celebrity Smack]

It is a distant possibility that Nicky Hilton is not particularly involved in the, you know, actual work behind her new line of boutique hotels. [Dirty Laundry]

Britney’s first (55-hour) husband happily cashes in on her recent media prominence, reveals she had a tummy tuck. “No duh,” say six-year-olds nationwide. [Cele|Bitchy]

Pink wears underwear. Unlike some people. [TMZ]

What is Scientology?

Thanks to a recent commenter for pointing us toward this video. Someone snuck a camera into a screening of this Scientology orientation video, so you too can get a 36-minute introduction to the religion Katie Holmes is marrying into.

Evil T wondered what their wedding would be like. I’m not sure, but around 23:50 there’s a church scene. It’s a “Christening,” and I’m pretty sure there’s a big ole’ cross behind the minister. See, guys? Scientology is just like that Christianity you know and love, except with more aliens and intergalactic warfare.

Even if you don’t watch the whole thing, please check out the end, starting around 32:30, where you’re warned that you have the opportunity — right now — to determine the course of the “your next trillion years.” You can choose Scientology, or you can choose agony and despair. For a trillion years, people. “I’m sorry,” says the host, “but that’s the way it really is.”

Anyway, if you’re gonna watch it, watch it today, before I get the cease and desist letter.

TomKat’s Crazy Will Now Be Legal

Tom and Katie’s rep have now confirmed that their wedding will be November 18th in Italy. I’m glad for Katie since she already got brainwashed and knocked up in the course of a year while waiting in vain for her big wedding. They have been engaged since June 2005, so this wedding has been “in the works” for some time. I wish them well even though I find Tom Cruise super creepy.

I wonder if the guests will dress as aliens? Seriously if anyone knows what a Scientology wedding entails please shoot me an email.