Brief Interruption

I’m going to interrupt Britney Spears Day, just for a sec, because I’ve just received word that Kristin Cavallari is probably sleeping with Jason Wahler. I know what you’re thinking: “Isn’t that old news?” No, no, LC used to sleep with Jason Wahler, not Kristin. “But, wait, I thought Kristin already slept with LC’s ex.” No, LC already slept with Kristin’s ex, Brody Jenner. “I thought Nicole Richie did that.” She did, too. “Does Stephen Colletti figure in here at all?” No. “Thank God.”

And as long as we’re interrupting:

Check out Faith Hill’s freak-out when Best Female Vocalist went to Carrie Underwood at the CMAs.

Also, the Hiltons and the Olsens are swapping men again.

Another Reality Show Participant Makes a Straight to DVD Movie

I get a bit sassy sometimes when reality shows refer to their participants as “cast members”. I am a struggling actress (the secret is out!) so I have issue with these reality whores ending up in movies and television. Because of “Laguna Beach” and its even faker spin-off “The Hills,” the reality star to actor ratio is going to get much higher. Why, you ask? Well, I have a sneaking feeling that these “cast members” are actually “cast.” Do you think it is a coincidence that LC is dating the Prince of Malibu?

On a reality casting note the Hollywood Reporter is saying that “Brian Drolet (MTV “The Hills”) is set to appear in “Burial at Sea,” an indie teen horror movie being directed by Joe Knee. Drolet will play a pro skateboarder who unknowingly hires the cursed captain of a possessed yacht for an expedition to shoot the ultimate skateboard video. Drolet is repped by Metropolitan and Cole Payne Management.”

Possessed yacht? This has straight to video written all over it. This guy seemed like such a tool on “The Hills.” At least he looks good with his shirt off.

An interesting link for those dudes out there who like big ole reality TV boobies. Robin from the current “Duel” challenge series takes it all off for the cameras. [IDontLikeYouInThatWay]

Friday Afternoon Links fo’ Yo Ass

Angelina Jolie just hates it when photogs catch pictures of Shiloh without forking over the requisite $4M. [Just Jared]

Nicole Kidman’s husband, country singer Keith Urban, is the latest celeb to enter rehab for an alcoholism relapse. It’s going to be okay, Nicole. Remember, there’s still no twelve-step program for Scientology. [Allie is Wired]

The Hills‘ L.C. is officially dating Brody Jenner, the ex-boyfriend of her Laguna Beach nemesis, Kristin Cavallari. No comment yet from Cavallari, but we’re keeping a close eye on her t-shirts. [Hollyscoop]

Break out the weed and the slap bracelets. Fraggle Rock is coming to the big screen. [popbytes]

Breaking! Kevin Federline may not be the model father you’d previously believed him to be. Well, at least you were right about the model part. [PopCultureWhore]

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: Christie Brinkley is such a rock star. [Teddy and Moo]

Brody Jenner Will Not Go Away

That Brody Jenner sure knows how to keep his name in the papers. In July, the Princes of Malibu star (well, he was the star for all two episodes that aired) broke up with Laguna Hills demon Kristin Cavallari, and the nation breathed a sigh of relief, thinking we’d never see or hear from him again. But we were wrong. He quickly hitched his wagon to the galloping publicity horse that is Nicole Richie. She ditched him last week.

Uh oh! How will the 23-year-old rich kid ever be relevant now? Hm. Maybe if he decided to hook up with Kristin Cavallari’s longtime nemesis, Lauren Conrad. Yeah, that would probably do the trick. Might even come with a guest spot on LC’s latest reality show, The Hills. Good thinking, Brody!

Update: BWE just totally called the parallel between Jenner’s Laguna Beach double dipping and Adam Duritz’s Jen Aniston/Courtney Cox fuckfest back in the day.

"jason wahler arrested cocaine"

I’ve had approximately one billion hits with this search term, or a variation upon it, today. So okay.

Yes, Jason Wahler was arrested in NYC on September 1, a little past 4 am, and charged with 3 counts of bribery, criminal possession of a controlled substance, resisting arrest and disorderly conduct.

So, um, here’s what I assume happened:

1) LC’s ex-love bumped a few lines (of cocaine. Yes, people. Probably of cocaine. Are you happy now?)
2) He did some stupid shit. (Jason Wahler? You’re kidding me.)
3) The cops got involved.
4) The cops suspected and then confirmed that drugs were involved.
5) The words “Don’t you know who I am?” were spoken. Probably by both parties.
6) A bribe was offered. Thrice.
7) All bribes were rejected, Jason was arrested.

Update: Oops…He Did It Again!

Picking up the Pieces: Is It Sweeps Week Yet?

Not much today, kids. Not much at all.

• Gawker’s backstage reporting from the VMAs is worth a read.
• Remember when Ben Affleck was cool? And when he was in a movie, people wanted to see it? Yeah. Not so much now.
• You know how you can tell it’s a really slow news day? Pictures of Jamie-Lynn Spears.
• Ashlee Simpson may or may not be dating Pete Wentz. “Who is Pete Wentz?” exclaims America.
• Pre-VMA report from Page Six: Ryan Seacreast hanging with his gays; Jason Wahler makes Lauren Conrad cry; Brandon Davis may (shhhh) be on drugs.

L.C. & Jason on Permanent Hiatus

The Hills’ Lauren “L.C.” Conrad and her boyfriend, goofy-lookin’ Jason Wahler, had the good sense to end their relationship just as filming for the show had gone on hiatus, sending film crews scrambling to catch the drama they’d been waiting around to catch for the past six months. Production staff are depressed in part because their summer vacation ended practically before it started, but mostly that a 20-year-old FIDM student from Laguna Beach has the power to do that to them simply by dumping her boyfriend.