Late-Night Links

Tyra Banks and Photoshop collaborate to reproduce her barrier-breaking Sports Illustrated cover ten years ago. I think we all know which party worked harder. [POTP]

Marcia Cross pops out those twins. [dlisted]

Anna Nicole Smith: same great trial, now with more decomposition! [A Socialite’s Life]

The Desperate Housewives crew thinks they’re gonna drag this thing out for four more years. I’ll believe that when I see it. [ONTD]

Hollywood hands Barack Obama a clean $1.3 million. [FishbowlLA]

Yet another Perez Hilton lawsuit. But this one involves Jennifer Aniston’s boobies! [Bricks and Stones]

Dancing with the Stars announces its new cast. The D-list line-up includes *NSYNC’s Joey Fatone, which I find endlessly amusing, as he once hosted Fame, a wildly unsuccessful reality talent competition. Nowhere to go but up, now, buddy! [Celebrity Smack]

Janice Dickinson Rocks

The former ANTM judge and owner of the Janice Dickinson Modeling Agency weighs in on the “skinny model” debate:

“I’m dying to find kids who are too thin. I’ve got 42 models in my agency and I’m trying to get them to lose weight. In fact, I wish they’d come down with some anorexia.” When you laugh at such politically incorrect statements, Dickinson yells back, “I’m not kidding. I’m running into a bunch of fat-assed, lazy little bitches who don’t know how to do the stairs or get their butts into the gym … Models are supposed to be thin. They’re not supposed to eat. In fact, I’m not going to eat for the rest of the day because we had this conversation.”

As awful as it is, I often agree with Janice, and I’m glad they still make folks like her. I know, I know. I’m a horrible person, and I’ve come to terms with that, but has anyone else noticed that bigger models just don’t carry the clothes as well as the ultra-skinny ones? And I’m not talking plus-size models, I’m talking girls with, like, a BMI of 20. It just doesn’t look as hot as some BMI 17 chick waltzing down the catwalk. There’s a reason models are ridiculously thin! It looks glamorous and unattainable and otherworldly! It makes you want to buy the clothes! I don’t think ultra-thin is very sexy off the catwalk, but anyone who thinks an average normal-weight girl is going to sell a dress as well as a super-skinny girl is just fucking wrong. Sorry.

In closing, here’s a very funny sign someone posted in front of CBS Studios (where Tyra Banks films her talk show). Let the hate mail roll in. Because if there’s anything I’ve learned, it’s that if anyone has more rabid fans than Justin Guarini, it’s Tyra.

Really Late-Night Links

If you’re wondering where Lindsay Lohan acquired her penchant for rambling, nonsensical epistolaries, look no further than her father’s most recent jailhouse opus. [Pop on the Pop]

Aw, Danny Tanner can still make his little girls smile. [Agent Bedhead]

Turns out Courtney Love can stay sober and plant absurd rumors about how she’s being considered as a judge for American Idol and categorically deny them, all at the same time! Yet, basic spelling continues to elude her. [Defamer]

Tara Conner’s no stranger to any type of blow. [ICYDK]

I hadn’t heard of Lily Allen until sometime last week, but this girl’s getting really famous really fast. [popbytes]

The gossip and sports blogospheres collide with the sound of Gisele Bundchen getting pummeled by Tom Brady. [The Big Lead]

Memo to Tyra Banks: We are done talking about the weight you’ve put on in the past couple of years. We did it for a day or two, got it out of our systems, and we’re ready to move on. We’d really appreciate it if you’d allow us to do that. Step away from the fat pictures, Tyra. Please. Love, The Blogosphere. [The Blemish]

Bill Gates can’t get away from Jon Stewart fast enough. [Cele|bitchy]

Tyra Banks Discusses Her Weight Gain

Supermodel-turned-reality-show-host-turned-talk-show-queen Tyra Banks spoke with People magazine about the weight she’s put on since she retired from modeling in 2005. When a tabloid posted these pics of Tyra looking a little hefty in a swimsuit with some disparaging headlines, Tyra’s feelings were understandably hurt. “I get so much mail from young girls who say, ‘I look up to you, you’re not as skinny as everyone else, I think you’re beautiful,’ ” she says. “So when they say that my body is ‘ugly’ and ‘disgusting,’ what does that make those girls feel like?”

Continues Tyra, “I’ve made millions of dollars with the body I have, so where’s the pain in that? If I was in pain, I would have dieted. The pain is not there – the pain is someone printing a picture of me and saying those (horrible) things.”

Tyra’s long been a proponent of a realistic body image for young women, and she always encourages the girls on Top Model to eat healthy and take care of themselves. The competition used to regularly include a token “fat model,” but producers must have realized the hopelessness of that cause, because the more recent cycles have been all thin girls. Last year, Tyra announced that she would no longer allow photo shoots of herself to be digitally retouched before being used in magazine, again emphasizing that this sends a message promoting unrealistic beauty to women. Because, you know, every woman can look like Tyra Banks if she just exercises and eats right.

But is there an additional motive to Tyra’s weight gain? “(TV execs) think it’s better when I’m at 155 lbs. – at 145, they feel I’m not as relatable,” she says. Perhaps Tyra’s trying to discard her supermodel image and adopt a look that Midwestern housewives will be more comfortable taking advice from.

Yeah, I Ran a Penis on the Front Page. Does this Mean I Still Can’t Run Your Ads, iTunes? Because Sony’s Cool with It. Just Saying.

At what point did People magazine get the monopoly on celebrity coming-out stories? Anyway, meet McGay. [Pop on the Pop]

Prince Harry’s new girlfriend, Chelsy Davy, wonders aloud if woolly mammoths are extinct. Their season of Newlyweds is going to rock so hard. [CelebSlam]

The photo shoot theme for this week’s ANTM was “celebrity couples.” Demonstrating the level of taste and subtelty we have come to associate so inextricably with the weekly, hour-long pitch for Tyra Banks’ surely forthcoming magazine, the girl who came out as a lesbian the day before was asked to be — I’m serious — Ellen and Portia di Rossi. [MollyGood]

Nicole Richie prefers to spend her time in restaurants getting laid in the bathroom, mostly because it’s the farthest she can get from the food. [Cele|Bitchy]

Nicky Hilton kicks off publicity for her fashion-centric Miami hotel, Nicky O, with — what else? — full frontal male nudity. There is a joke here to illustrate that nudity has very little to do with fashion, but I am too distracted by penises to think of it. [The Superficial]

Sofia Coppola is expecting a baby girl in December. With any luck, she won’t cast the kid in Lost in Translation 3. [Celebrity Baby Blog]

Paris Hilton avoids the premiere of her new movie, National Lampoon’s Pledge This, because she doesn’t want to be associated with a film that will likely go straight to video. She really could have made that decision much earlier, like when they cast Simon Rex and Randy Spelling. [Hollywood Gossip Whores]

Picking up the Pieces: Tyra Banks May Actually Be Kind of a Bitch Edition

• Do you want to see more pictures of little Sean Preston Spears waving from the window of his mommy’s hospital room? Okay.
• Kate Hudson and Owen Wilson accidentally schedule their Maui vacations for the same week. That is so weird.
• Tyra Banks blasts the ‘razzi, but not until after she’s tipped them off as to where she and Nicole Richie will be doing it.
• Remember how Howard K. Stern’s first statement about the death of Anna Nicole Smith’s son Daniel emphasized that drugs and alcohol were not involved? To the surprise of no one, that is looking less and less true; the more I hear about the situation, the more awful it sounds.