Late-Night Links (Back in Late Night)

Uh-oh. Looks like Nicole Richie’s going to jail for this latest DUI. And just when Joel Madden was getting laid for the first time in three years… [TMZ]

Britney’s new boyfriend can’t get into Hyde. Also, if you’d like to dress up as a douchebag next Halloween, you can pretty much just use the outfit he wore to The Ivy this week. Everyone will totally be like “Oh, I get it. You’re a douchebag.” [Celebitchy]

Katharine McPhee in OK magazine. I don’t know why I love her so much, but I do. [Pop on the Pop]

Jude Law plans to take his children to a South African orphanage for Christmas, to demonstrate that it is better to have a daddy who leaves your mother for a 22-year-old who he then cheats on with the nanny than it is to have no daddy at all. [Junkiness]

It is possible that Paris Hilton does cocaine. And by “possible” I of course mean “more of a sure thing than Tara Reid on St. Patrick’s Day.” [Celebrity Smack]

Finally! Someone moves away from character assassination and just plain attempts to assassinate Janice Dickinson. My money’s on a former Top Model contestant. [Hollyscoop]

Let’s Link this Through

Yup, the Spiderman 3 trailer leaked. Enjoy. [Derek Hail]

TomKat and Suri the Fake Baby (looking fake as can be), arrive in Rome for the contractually mandated wedding of the century. [Glitterati]

Leann Rimes sides with Faith Hill on the whole Carrie-Underwood-sucks issue. Classy. [Tabloid Whore]

Holy crap, stop the presses. Jude and Sienna broke up. For the eight billionth time. I honestly do not remember them getting back together. I’m sure I wrote about it, but I have some sort of Jude-Sienna mental filter that keeps that sort of info from sticking. I’m glad of it. [The Superficial]

This constant stream of Anna Nicole stories makes me want to mix methadone with antidepressants, too. The power company pulled the plug on her place in the Bahamas yesterday. [Allie is Wired]

Vogue doesn’t want pictures of Britney Spears’ baby. Not even for free. Damn. [HGW]

A little treat for the straight guys who stop by on occasion/accident: Alessandra Ambrosia photo explosion over at CelebSlam. [CelebSlam]

Lunch Break Quickies: Lindsay Lohan Wants You to Know About Rehab

• Katie Holmes may play the role of Victoria Beckham in an upcoming biopic about Posh’s hubby, U.K. soccer star David Beckham.
• A publicity-starved Steve-O urinates on the red carpet at the premiere of Jackass 2. Fair warning: if you click that link, you are going to see his penis.
• Steve-O’s penis is lovely treat, but I know what you all really crave is a peek at Rosie O’Donnell’s tits. Well, then, you should watch Nip/Tuck on October 3. Or, you know, avoid Nip/Tuck at all costs for the entire month of October, just in case.
• Britney’s “manny” leaves her for Jude Law. Maybe he’s planning to reunite with Sienna Miller for the fifty-eighth time. She was not such a big fan of the old nanny.
• Keith Richards showed up to film his part as Johnny Depp’s father in the third installment of the other national mint, Pirates of the Caribbean, and the Rolling Stones rocker was almost too drunk to get through the scene. Where is Courtney Love when you need her?
• If you own an energy drink called Rehab, and you would like people to take pictures of your product and write about it on the Internet, you do whatever it takes to get that can into the sweaty, shaky hands of Lindsay Lohan. But how to do that? It just seems to good to be true. It took me awhile to find much information on the product, since any google search for “lohan rehab” or “rehab beverages” provides a million hits I can’t use, but I finally tracked down their website. They’re a Las Vegas company, and it looks like they’re partnered with Pink Taco, a chain of Mexican restaurants owned by Harry Morton, Lohan’s boyfriend. Mystery solved.

Happy Morning! It Doesn’t Have to be September 11 Again for a Full Year!

HELLO SEPTEMBER 12.

I love you.

• I think our nation’s club owners have figured out that turning away Paris Hilton is a surefire way to get their club’s name in all the papers. I’m totally okay with that, Rose Bar at Ian Schrager’s Gramercy Park Hotel.
• I don’t know at what point Tom Cruise stopped being hot, but it totally happened.
• Britney Spears got that baby out, a healthy baby boy born just before 2 am on September 12. After cutting the umbilical cord, the doctors pierced the baby’s ear and tattooed his upper arm.
• I don’t know if the bigger news is that Jude and Sienna are dating again, or that Us Weekly’s blog totally said “f-buddies.”
• Justin Timberlake’s avant-garde masterpiece, FutureSex/LoveSounds, drops today. You know you’ve really pushed the boundaries of contemporary soundscape when the whole album is available on MTV’s The Leak.
• Eva Longoria takes a pre-emptive strike against her imminent irrelevance; it’s not that she won’t have options after Desperate Housewives runs its threadbare course, it’s just that she doesn’t want to do any of them.