Eminem Has a Small Penis

Kim Mathers, Em’s on-and-off-and-on-and-off girlfriend/wife/fantasy murder victim, has launched an anti-Em crusade which came to some sort of peak on an interview this morning with a Detroit radio station. Says Kim:

“I can’t stand him. He’s an absolutely horrible person, and he gets worse every day,” Mathers said. “I vomit in my mouth whenever I’m around him or I hear his name. There’s nothing left in me for him. Nothing at all.”

She goes on to say that “he’s not very well-endowed,” and that sex with him is “bad.” And the kicker: “If you’re going to have sex with Marshall, make sure you have a little blue pill, because otherwise it does not work.”

Eminem responded by taking the high road in a statement he made through his publicist: “It’s a shame that I’ve moved on and Kim hasn’t. Her ongoing press campaign is doing nothing but harm to the children, and for that I feel truly sorry. For their sake I wish she would stop.”

[via Agent Bedhead]

Late-Night Links

Steve-O urinates in public for the first time this year. [Celebslam]

Naomi Watts is preggers. [Perez]

Ryan Phillippe’s new girlfriend is 18-year-old Nikki Reed, of Thirteen fame, which is, ironically, their approximate age difference. [Cele|bitchy]

Eminem is reportedly set to marry Kim Mathers for the third time. They say third time’s the charm, so maybe this go-round he’ll actually kill her and we can be done with this crap. [Agent Bedhead]

Fergie continues her spelling bee of a solo career with the new video for “Glamorous.” [Bree]

Welcome to Famous, Heidi Montag. Leave your clothes at the door. You know, on the hook right above your dignity. [Pop on the Pop]

Maybe if Anne Hathaway ever emerged from her crypt and into the sunlight she wouldn’t be so depressed. [ICYDK]

Afternoon Delight: Teri Hatcher Has Not Been Getting Enough Media Attention This Week

• Eminem’s trying to work out the details of his divorce from Kim Mathers. Again.
• Scarlett Johansson loves being curvy, and she doesn’t want to change a thing about herself. Which is totally fine, but it would be nice if she could change the character she plays every once in awhile.
• Teri Hatcher has very expensive THO. According to the Desperate Housewives star, during the show’s first season, the producers spent thousands of dollars digitally erasing her nipples. For the love of Christ, will someone please run her picture this week? Next thing you know, she’ll be running to the press with some story about how she was sexually molested as a child. What’s that? Oh.
• “The One Where Joey Represents Himself in Divorce Proceedings with His Estranged Wife”
• Wait, what? Drugs might be involved in the death of Anna Nicole Smith’s son? Surely you jest.