Bigots of the World, Unite!

Entertainment Weekly has pulled an interview with Mr. Mel Gibson (his own self).

Overall the interview is well done and somewhat thoughtful. I’d never claim Mel isn’t smart, I’d just claim that clearly he should lay off the fire water. Here are a few of the choice bits though:

Do you feel you’ve done enough apologizing for your anti-Semitic remarks?
“Those were the ravings of an inebriated, angry person. I don’t know. I think publicly I have done enough.”

Hey, newsflash, that person was you. You are angry, were inebriated, raved. I’m sick of people saying “It was the anger talking.” That anger is you fella, take responsibility and say “I’m an angry guy and that’s something I battle with.” Who is this third person you speak of?

People won’t really refuse to work with you?
“No, people aren’t like that. Those are just headlines: Mel Ostracized by Hollywood! Hollywood is what you make it.”

I can tell you based on my experience in the industry that most people don’t take moral stands. If Mel had come out the next day and said “I believe my statements were correct,” he’d still have work. He owns a production company for God’s sake, he has an Oscar. There is one thing Hollywood values above your personal life and views. Money. Cold hard cash, and Mel has a history of delivering it. Thus, short of raping a goat in front of the Hollywood sign, someone will always want to work with him, no matter the religious affiliation.

Here’s some sympathy from Mel:

“I felt like sending Michael Richards a note. I feel really badly for the guy. He was obviously in a state of stress.”

He should feel bad for Richards. Richards is proper fucked, unlike Mel. Why? He hasn’t delivered the money in eight years, and even then it was with an ensemble. Now producers can take a moral stand because it’s fiscally prudent (channeling George Bush I). I now return you to typical Hollywood softball mumbo-jumbo:

Can you teach anybody to act?
“Yeah. It’s about breathing.”

For the record I have no problem separating the art from the artist. Bad people make great films sometimes, sweethearts can make stinkbombs. Braveheart was a great film. But you should be aware that Apocalypto is not a good film. Uber not-goodness. What it is an extremely heavy handed metaphor wrapped up in a very weak story. Boring, silly, pointless. Other than that I loved it. Make sure you see it.

Gobble Up These Links (ha ha HA!)

Today in tasteful: unearthed 1986 footage of Michael Richards in blackface. [The Bosh]

When Prison Break first aired, I gave it three hours of my life that I will never get back, then gave up. But Wentworth Miller is still way hot, so check out this interview with him. [Gossip or Truth, more]

If you’re anything like the rest of the country, you’ve been waiting ever so anxiously to hear what a recently divorced Juliette Lewis thinks about former boyfriend Brad Pitt. Thanks goodness she’s finally weighed in. [Agent Bedhead]

The Beyonce/Jay-Z shelf life is nearing its end. Maybe they can time the break-up to coincide with the opening of Dreamgirls. Wouldn’t that be nice? [Rhymes with Snitch]

Stylist Rachel Zoe claims Nicole Richie fired her after she “voiced concerns … about her lifestyle.” [PopSugar]

When asked about Hilary Swank, Chad Lowe takes the high road. No pun intended. [celebrity nation]

And just for the hell of it, really cute pics of Gwen Stefani, Gavin Rossdale and their adorable little critter out shopping. [Dirty Laundry]

Michael Richards Apology Video

From Letterman last night. Watch it before YouTube yanks it.

BREAKING AGAIN: Transcript of Michael Richards on Letterman

CBS just sent out their press release from the taping of Letterman this afternoon (the actual interview will air on CBS tonight). Fresh from my inbox:

Richards was featured via satellite from Los Angeles during an interview with scheduled guest Jerry Seinfeld, who asked Richards, his former “Seinfeld” co-star, to appear on the CBS late night broadcast. The following is an excerpt from Richards’ interview:

Letterman: “Why don’t you explain exactly what happened for the folks who may not know.”

Richards: “I lost my temper on stage. I was at a comedy club trying to do my act and I got heckled and I took it badly and went into a rage and said some pretty nasty things to some Afro-Americans, a lot of trash talk, and uh…”

Letterman: “And you were actually being heckled or were they just talking and disturbing the act?”

Richards: “That was going on too.”

* * *

Richards: “…You know, I’m really busted up over this and I’m very, very sorry to those people in the audience, the blacks, the Hispanics, whites – everyone that was there that took the brunt of that anger and hate and rage and how it came through, and I’m concerned about more hate and more rage and more anger coming through, not just towards me but towards a black/white conflict. There’s a great deal of disturbance in this country and how black feel about what happened in Katrina, and, you know, many of the comics, many of performers are in Las Vegas and New Orleans trying to raise money for what happened there, and for this to happen, for me to be in a comedy club and flip out and say this crap, you know, I’m deeply, deeply sorry. And I’ll get to the force field of this hostility, why it’s there, why the rage is in any of us, why the trash takes place, whether or not it’s between me and a couple of hecklers in the audience or between this country and another nation, the rage – “

Letterman: “But Michael, let me interrupt here for a second and ask a question about had the people doing the heckling or the people who were not paying attention, had they been white or Caucasian or any other race, what would have been the nature of your response then?”

Richards: “It may have happened. It may have happened. You know, I’m a performer. I push the envelope, I work in a very uncontrolled manner onstage. I do a lot of free association, it’s spontaneous, I go into character. I don’t know, in view of the situation and the act going where it was going, I don’t know, the rage did go all over the place. It went to everybody in the room. But you can’t – you know it’s, I don’t – I know people could, blacks could feel – I’m not a racist, that’s what so insane about this, and yet it’s said, it comes through, it fires out of me and even now in the passion that’s here as I confront myself.”

BREAKING: Michael Richards Is Sorry

Apparently taping just wrapped on tonight’s David Letterman, and Michael Richards made an appearance via satellite to apologize for the awful, racist remarks that had their webcast debut today.

A source at Defamer, who was at the taping, says “they got Michael Richards to be on the show via satellite. He apparently insists that he’s not racist, even though he kept referring to ‘Afro-Americans’ through the interview.”

Another source at TMZ says that Richards was near tears during the apology. Richards’ excuse is rumored to be “rage issues.” Uh-huh. That’s like saying your excuse is “actively hating black people.” Nice try, Mikey.

Richards appeared as a part of a previously-scheduled interview with Jerry Seinfeld.

Set your TiVos, kiddos!

The Guy from Seinfeld Hates You (if you’re black).

Oh happy day. A Seinfeld alumnus is in the news again, and this time it’s not for a cancelled show. TMZ has a video and some lovely text about the guy who used to be Kramer going off, Wu-Tang style, on some hapless hecklers. Evidently the set wasn’t going well for Michael Richards because he had to fire back at the crowd with this doozy:

“Fifty years ago we’d have you upside down with a f***ing fork up your ass.”

This sentiment was launched at one of our African American brothers, though one has to question the historical validity of “forking.” I’ve never heard of such a practice. In the video someone can be heard saying “Oh my God” but it’s far too late by then. Your God will not save you from Cosmo Kramer you poor bastards.

This just goes back to my old adage, something momma taught me so many years ago “If you’re given crazy millions for a sitcom that’s gone, and then you’ve got about five more decades to bum around, you are in for one hell of a non-fun time.”

David Schwimmer, beware.