Archive for the ‘Jessica Simpson’ Category

She Don’t Eat Za

February 23, 2007

Our friends over at Elle have unearthed the fact that:

(Jessica Simpson is) allergic to cheese. And wheat. Oh, and tomatoes.

Luckily Pizza Hut’s new non cheese sans tomatoes pizza is set to be unveiled. It’s called the O2 and it’s yours for the low low price of $9.99

Late-Night Links

February 13, 2007

Justin Timberlake announces plans to launch his own television network, JT TV. I announce plans to throw up a little in my mouth. [POTP]

Remember Lindsay Lohan? [The Blemish]

Mischa Barton does her very best Crocodile Dundee. [Celebslam]

Anna Nicole was cheating … on TRIMSPA! Leave it to CourtTV to get the hard facts in this case. [TMZ]

T.R. Knight is not getting pushed around by anyone anymore! You hear that, Diddy? [Cele|bitchy]

Jessica Simpson and John Mayer pose for some prom post-Grammy photos. [Tabloid Whore]

Paris Hilton won’t have her true commitment to the ground-breaking creation of novel soundscapes diluted by an extended appearance at such self-congratulatory nonsense as the Grammy awards. But you can take her picture real quick. [Defamer]

See? Sarah Silverman is funny. I told you so. [Gawker]

Crappy Movies Change the World

February 6, 2007

I am stunned by this quote out of Jess Simpson:

She made that decision (divorce), she says, after watching the 2004 romance The Notebook on a plane ride home to Texas. “I just figured out the statement,” she says of the movie, starring Ryan Gosling and Rachel McAdams as star-crossed lovers. “It was about that moment of desperation. I needed to breathe.”

She figured out the statement? The Goddamn movie isn’t exactly secretive. Figuring it out is like figuring out the statement to Snakes on a Plane. Guess what? There’s fucking snakes.

I really hated The Notebook but I know there are women out there who love it. So I’ll just say this; how many times have you made a decision based on a movie? Also, now that I really bore down into her quote, the movie isn’t about “that moment of deperation.” It’s about finding and holding on to your true love and other such hackneyed cliches. I don’t think it has much to do with divorce at all. Could she mean she realized she didn’t have what Gosling and McAdams had? Okay, maybe, if you attribute logical thought to Jess. But she also should have figured out that someone wrote their dialogue and they only had to get along for around 40 minutes on screen.

I feel like she should have to wear a shirt that says “I am Stupid.” And it would point to her.

Late-Night Links

February 6, 2007

Best and worst of Super Bowl ads. []

Ryan Phillippe is all about fatherhood. That and cheating on his wife. [PopSugar]

Kimora Lee gets all lesbo at Cipriani. [Cele|bitchy]

Kim Kardashian takes a page from the Paris Hilton playbook, keeps the sex tape rumors alive. [The Blemish]

Jessica Simpson dyes her hair auburn, colors face to match. [Pop on the Pop]

Ron Jeremy and Paris Hilton once played a little game of I’ll-show-you-mine-if-you’ll-show-me-yours in a bathroom stall. If they wanted to see each other’s naughty bits, they both could have saved some time and checked the Internet. [Warship]

Jennifer Love Hewitt and her cleavage hit up The Ivy for some publicity lunch. Oh, Love. I don’t even know what you’re working on now. The Horse Whisperer? Or something? You’ll always be that girl who gave it up to Bailey Salinger in my mind. [Rappy’s]

Ryan O’Neal understands that the publics needs — nay, deserves — a full account of his fireplace-poker-swinging battle with his son. [Defamer]

Jeff Zucker takes the reins at NBC. Hang on tight. [Jossip]

Jessica Simpson is Not Going to Talk About Her Private Life (Except She Totally Is)

February 5, 2007

Oh, yay. Another Jessie Simpson interview. The forum: Elle magazine. The topic: Her personal life, and how she won’t talk about it, and then more about her personal life.

On seeing Nick with other women: “Oh, it hurt me. Two or three weeks later? Yeah, I’d say it kind of hurt me.” Hey, Jess? Everyone’s going to lead with that. Everyone. You knew that when you said it, didn’t you?

On her relationship with John Mayer: “I want to tell you everything, but I have to sew my lips together. It’s hurt me in the past.” Damn, that’s a good plan, Jessie. Maybe you could have had that little brainstorming session sometime before the “Is it chicken or tuna” debacle. You’ll get ’em next time, kiddo.

On the reality show she filmed with Nick: “I let people in on who I am and how I react to my husband. That’s a big deal. Celebrities don’t do that. So I think they brought me down just because I stopped talking and because I have not spoken – and will not speak – about my divorce. And I think people feel like I owe them my reality right now.”

Anyway, Jess goes on to say how she’s still buddies with Nick, and won’t say if she’s currently in love (although she makes it clear to the interviewer that she is). Hey, Jess, if you want to keep your private life private, maybe stop giving interviews about it?

Late-Night Links

January 26, 2007

Nicole Kidman is carted off to the hospital after an on-set car accident, but she’s so badass she comes back later in the night to resume filming. Thankfully, someone got the accident on tape. [Celebslam]

Jessica’s pouty expressions and hair-twirling may be more for the camera than for John Mayer. [Cele|bitchy]

Kate and Owen take another shot at their non-relationship. You know, for the sake of the little Ryder. Oh wait. [Celeb Warship]

Pics of Carrie Underwood shooting her new music video. [Celebrity Smack]

Wrap your head around this: Paul Reubens, incapable of draw the line at masturbating in a public place, also smoked cigarettes on set. [Defamer]

Black Snake Moan is characterized as “bad Ricci-porn.” Count me in! [Pajiba]

Even fast food employees are loathe to be associated with Kevin Federline. [Agent Bedhead]

They Are Actually Kind of Cute

January 6, 2007

So I hate to say this but I think that John Mayer and Jessica Simpson are kind of cute. I think they have been dating on and off for a while and John wasn’t into the publicity machine that was Miss Simpson. They are finally publicly “coming out” as a couple and I think it a bit good for both of them. John needs a little drama to fuel his whiny songs and Jess needs some kind of stability so she can get off her path to crazy. I’m kind of hoping that this works out for both of them and he knocks her up, then we won’t be subjected to her awful music or crappy movies for at least a year. A girl can always dream.

Late-Night Links

January 3, 2007

Jessica Simpson and John Mayer spend New Year’s Eve sucking face. [Mollygood]

Kate Moss and Pete Doherty may or may not have gotten married in Thailand on New Year’s Day. We can state with confidence, however, that they were both high. [The Superficial]

Justin Timberlake and Cameron Diaz have reportedly split for good. I bet he’s realized lately what a huge mistake it was to leave Britney and hopes to win her back. [Pop on the Pop]

Wilmer Valderrama and Mandy Moore may be back together. [Bricks and Stones]

Heather Mills continues her quest to become the single most hated person in all of England. [Glitterati]

Photogs catch Nicole Richie sucking face with Joel Madden on New Year’s Eve. [The Blemish]

Jess Didn’t Have Herself a Very Merry Christmas

December 28, 2006

Jessica Simpson has not had the best 2006. It is being reported that on the set of her new movie “Blond Ambition” Jessica didn’t leave her trailer for 2 days, prompting an intervention by her sister Ashlee. It might be a bit redundant to say that she has been experiencing quite the fall from grace as of late. First, her album flops. Second, she experiences a bout of fug as her sister gets crazy hot. Third, her movies are lameo. Lastly, her love-life has become the running joke of the tabloids. While Nick is off with his hot Vanessa Jessica’s people keep trying to link her to various men with no success. John Mayer didn’t seem to interested in her once their relationship went public. (secret sex anyone??) Evidently she was dating the quarterback of the Dallas Cowboys for a hot second until he moved on to Carrie Underwood.
In 2007 hopefully we will get to look forward to the pending Jessica Simpson breakdown when Nick and Vanessa get engaged, the crap that will be “Blonde Ambition,” and many more bad hair extensions via her main gay, Ken Paves.
Thank You Jessica for going slowly batty, you give us the strength to move on from Lindsay Lohan.

Thanks to TMZ for this amazing article and a fantastic fat-face photo of Miss Simpson.

Late-Night Links

December 6, 2006

The long-awaited video (seriously, it took a whole day — that’s like a lifetime in the blogosphere) of Jessica Simpson running off-stage at the Kennedy Center Awards has at last arrived. [MollyGood]

Reverend Jesse Jackson is urging the public to boycott Seinfeld DVDs after star Michael Richards’ much-publicized racist rant reportedly prompted a spike in DVD sales for the show. My guess is the thought process surrounding most of these purchases went more along the lines of “Oh, hey, I forgot about Kramer. Man, Seinfeld sure was funny. Those DVDs would make a great Christmas gift,” and less along the lines of “You mean that Kramer guy’s a racist? Oh, now I’ll buy the DVDs.” A Jason Alexander crotch shot probably would have had a similar impact. But whatever. [CelebSlam]

Beyonce Knowles and Jennifer Hudson are supposedly having some manner of non-feud regarding who upstaged whom in Dreamgirls. I’m not sure if I believe it less than I care, or vice versa. [TMZ]

Porn star Kendra Jade knows words like “disheartened,” “inevitable,” and “salacious.” That or her publicist does. Either way, she didn’t sleep with K-Fed. She has standards. [JordanIsYourHomeboy]

Sandra Bullock is either pregnant or she isn’t. [Celebrity Smack]