Late-Night Links

Teri Hatcher had a lunch date with George Bush, Sr. I’m not sure which of them I feel more sorry for. [Faded Youth]

Lance and Reichen had a love that could have lasted a lifetime … if it weren’t for some dude from Real World: Denver. [ICYDK]

Mischa and Cisco had a love that could have lasted a lifetime … if it weren’t for that picture of his gigantic testicles that made the Internet rounds. [Cele|bitchy]

Breaking: Angelina Jolie is thin. [The Bosh]

Yeah, okay, so Tori Spelling’s like 20 months pregnant, but is that really any excuse to look like Kirstie Alley? [The Blog You Love to Hate]

Blah blah blah … Ryan O’Neal … blah blah son drunk … blah blah blah pregnant girlfriend battered … blah blah blah … Gloria Allred? Jesus. [TMZ]

Will Nicky Hilton face actual consequences for her participation in her sister’s bigoted video projects? Maybe. You know who won’t face actual consequences? Paris. Ever. [MollyGood]

Late-Night Links

Lance and Reichen split for good. Lance must have heard about Reichen’s famous wandering eye, because he’s changed his MySpace song to fellow *NSYNCer’s “What Comes Around Goes Around.” Cute. [MollyGood]

I’ve resigned myself to the fact that no one is ever going to explain to me why Keeley Hazell is famous. But she sure is hot. [The Blemish]

Candid photos of an Olsen twin putting her mouth on someone else’s body? Never gets old. [CW]

Also in underage antics: Hilary Duff gets wasted at Hyde. [Monica Monroe]

Gideon Yago peaces out at MTV, gives audience waaay too much credit. [IBBB]

BITCH FIGHT

Perez Hilton’s war on the man who lanced Lance Bass, Reichen Leimkuhl, continues. Perez ran this not-so-blind item today:

Riddle me this: What not-so-bright professional pretty face is making up lies in a transparent attempt to save his relationship with his meal ticket? The power bottom – who loves to engage in various illegal activities, various friends of his who have partied with him confirm exclusively to PerezHilton.com – has a history of lying. Several moles in the celebrity weeklies tell us that during his recent split with a former boy-bander, whose publicist confirmed the news, the former military brat was still claiming the two were together. Obviously one party has more to lose from the demise of that relationship and he’s going to do whatever it takes to save it.

P.S. Not only did the not-so-bright homo hook up with a fellow reality TV star recently, but the two have also hooked up in the past!

It is sooo on.

Early Evening Links

Can you believe I got these things up before 10 pm?? GO ME!!!

Jennifer Hudson needs additional media training. [Defamer]

Mario Lopez and Dancing with the Stars partner Katrina Smirnoff are doing the horizontal tango, if you know what I mean. [MollyGood]

Reese Witherspoon(‘s breasts) look amazing at the Kennedy Center Honors. [Yeeeah!]

Jen and Vince’s reps join forces to put the final nail in the Vaughniston coffin: “Jennifer and Vince mutually agreed to end their relationship.” The reps admit the two broke up in October, after Jen visited Vince in London. So, you know, right around when the blogosphere said they did. [Dirty Laundry]

Paul Walker has no need for talent. Good thing, too. [Celebrity Smack]

Scarlett Johansson: “Please masturbate to me. I want you to. I need you to. Do it three, four, five times a day. Before bed, in the morning, at the office, at your children’s day care, between rounds of golf, in front of your girlfriend, at your mother’s house, in the boss’s office, in the cafeteria, onto the mashed potatoes, anywhere, everywhere, I don’t care, just as long as you’re masturbating to me.” [Agent Bedhead]

Lance Bass says that he and Reichen are still trying to work things out. He made the statement via MySpace, which is totally Hollywood’s hottest PR agency right now. [ICYDK]

Photos from Johnny Depp’s first wedding in 1983. [popbytes]

Lance and Reichen: It’s Over

*NSYNCer Lance Bass and his boyfriend, Reichen Lehmkuhl, have parted ways, according to TMZ.com. Lance’s publicist issued a statement confirming the split, which is rumored to have come as a surprise to Reichen, who’d been denying any split to family and mutual friends.

This summer, the two caused quite a stir when their relationship led boy-bander and Cosmonaut hopeful Bass to come out of the closet, creating bitter disappointment among 12-year-old girls everywhere (and, sadly, a college sorority sister of mine, who is probably in for a lifetime of doomed relationships).

Sarah Silverman: A Deity Among Us

A little something to incorporate into your daily prayer ritual.