Norbit: Not Anna Nicole Smith

I figure we all need a quick breather from the Anna Nicole Smith insanity, especially since tomorrow is going to be insane and autopsy-intensive. Here’s a clip someone sent me about the new Eddie Murphy film Norbit. I don’t know much about this film, but rumor has it that Eddie’s decision to add to the ever-expanding, always high-brow genre of black-men-playing-fat-black-women-and-doing-dumb-shit may actually hurt his shot at an Oscar for Dreamgirls. So, hey, I’m already a fan. The movie opens tomorrow.

Scary Spice Strikes Back

Scary Spice Mel B., who is clearly not dating Eddie Murphy anymore, responded to his very public allegations that the baby she’s carrying may not be his:

“I am obviously upset and distressed at some of the comments made by Eddie Murphy to the media. I have no idea why anybody would want to conduct themselves in this kind of manner about such a personal matter in such a public way. My main concern is for the well being of my daughter Phoenix and of course the baby. I was astonished what Eddie said – there is absolutely no question that Eddie is the father. My main concern is to concentrate on the well being of my daughter and baby.”

[source]

Late-Night Links

The OC‘s Rachel Bilson and Adam Brody decide to call it quits. In real life, not on the show. Are they still on that show? Do I really care? No. [Tabloid Whore]

Eddie Murphy reportedly announces to a Dutch television show that he’s no longer dating Mel B. (aka Scary Spice) and now questions the paternity of her child. His rep says these reports are false. Maybe Eddie needs to take a tip from Gwyneth Paltrow and brush up on his foreign-language skills. [TMZ]

Um…related? Eddie Murphy is dating film producer and Babyface ex Tracey Edmonds. [Bossip]

I’m Not Obsessed has a good index of YouTube clips from the VH1 Big in 06 Awards. [I’m Not Obsessed]

George Clooney’s pet pig dies. Perhaps this will send him into a drunken emotional tailspin, hitting up Hyde every night with new BFF Stavros Niarchos, culminating in a glorious George Clooney crotch shot. Is that too much to ask?? [Junkiness]

I love Jennifer Garner. After her weight gain kicked off rumors of another pregnancy, she decides to just fess up: “Nobody’s pregnant. I am as physically unfit as I’ve probably been in my whole life.” [Pop on the Pop]

Oh good. Tori Spelling’s writing a memoir. People notes that the opus will “likely be done with the help of a ghostwriter.” I would, honestly, be much more interested in the stunning work of literature that Tori Spelling would surely produce if left entirely to her own devices. [People]

Two Beckhams for the price of one Courtney Love? You’ve got yourselves a deal, England! [popbytes]

Link It Up

A day with Paula Abdul is not worth $26,000 to anyone. A day with her Vicodin supply? Now that’s another story. [CelebSlam]

Nicole Richie doesn’t like it when strangers text message her. [Drunken Stepfather]

Scary Spice is carrying Eddie Murphy’s love child. [Juicy-News]

Check out the video from Christina Aguilera’s new single, “Hurt,” which comes complete with a father-daughter separation scene straight out of a Michael Lohan cartoon. [Hollywood Gossip Whores]

Before they became the alcoholic, abusive, herpetic mess we all took such pure joy in watching them become, Liza Minelli and David Gest filmed a pilot for a reality show. Because God loves you, this footage has surfaced. [Perez Hilton]

Ellen Degeneres invites a hyptonist on her show for a weepy attempt to rid herself of the smoking habit, the cumulative result of which is that now I want a cigarette. [Defamer]